


Cardioversion

by TheBasilRathbone



Series: Pacemaker [5]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Alec and Ellie Are Already Dating, Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Angst, Canonical Mention of Sexual Assault, Crime, Criminal Investigation, Ellie is the Sherlock Holmes of Emotions, Established Relationship, F/M, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Season 3, pre-established
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:41:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23336293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBasilRathbone/pseuds/TheBasilRathbone
Summary: Set during series 3 - It's been a difficult year for Alec Hardy. The Sandbrook case, heart surgery, and his daughter and ex-wife at one another's throats. The only bright spot has been his relationship with Ellie which, against all odds, has continued to be wonderful.He just hopes that doesn't change when he finally moves to Broadchurch.
Relationships: Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Pacemaker [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1652722
Comments: 53
Kudos: 249





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Cardioversion: a procedure used to return an abnormal heartbeat to a normal rhythm.

Being pulled into Jenkinson’s office was not a good start to the day.

She knew what it was for before she arrived. Their old DI, a kind but incompetent man who had only accepted the job as a way to coast into retirement, had been ‘let go’ the month before, and Ellie had applied for his job.

“You know why you’re here,” Elaine said. It wasn’t a question.

“I assume to be told I didn’t get the job and to stop applying.”

Elaine sighed. “You’re a good cop, Ellie. And I wish I could give you the job. But it’s too soon, after what happened. I’m not saying never, but not now. I’m afraid we’ve made an offer to someone else.”

“Someone here?” She asked, wincing a bit at the thought of someone younger and more inexperienced rising the ranks ahead of her. She tried not to feel gutted. Or at least not let it show how disappointed she was.

“No, an external hire. Haven’t heard back from him, yet, and I suspect he’ll turn it down. But I just want to make it clear that if you hear of him turning it down, it doesn’t mean that we’ll be hiring internally.”

Doesn’t mean we’ll be hiring you, she means.

“Right. It’s a good position. Can’t imagine he’d be turning it down.”

Elaine shrugged. “Bit surprised he even applied, honestly. He’s made quite a name for himself, lately, solving a cold case homicide. I’ve heard through some other departments that bigger districts are trying to poach him.”

Ellie froze. He couldn’t. Not even he could be so bloody stupid, could he?

“Cold case homicide? ...Alec Hardy?”

Jenkinson gave her a look.

* * *

“Hardy.”

The fact that his tone had been gruff meant that he was busy, and hadn’t even glanced at the caller I.D. before answering. It was an absolutely pointless, unimportant thing that made her blood boil.

“You fucking twat.”

There was a pause. “If yer tryin’ out pet names, think I’d prefer you stick with ‘Alec.’”

“Would you? How about DI Alec Hardy of the Wessex Police, Broadchurch Division. That suit you any better?”

Another pause. “Fuckin’ hell, does any information stay private in that bloody town?”

“You took my job and couldn’t be bothered to tell me? What, were you gonna wait until I show up for work and your name was suddenly on the door?”

“No!” He cried. “Jesus, El. Take a breath.”

“Don’t tell me what to fucking do!”

There’s an irritated sigh on the other line. “Ellie, I haven’ taken the job. I jus’ got the offer this mornin’. Told ‘em I’d let ‘em know.”

“You _applied for my job_ and didn’t tell me.”

“You told me yourself tha’ you know they’d not promote you, not for a long time.”

“That’s not the point,” she snapped.

“I didn’ even know if I’d get the job, I didn’ want this to be a big discussion if it went to someone else. I was gonna tell you, Ellie. Today, tomorrow maybe. Was Daisy’s idea, anyway.”

“What was?” she hissed, realizing her shouting on the steps of the CID is drawing some attention.

“Applyin’. She’s the one tha’ saw the postin’. She’s been...job huntin’ for me, apparently. I wasn’ happy about it, either.”

“Why was Daisy looking for jobs for you?” She snapped irritably. The anger was fading quickly, but she wasn’t ready to let it go, yet.

He sighed. “She’s...at war with ‘er mother. Been bad for a while, but since the Sandbrook trial...they been at each other’s throats. She’s been lookin’ for jobs in yer area, knowin’ I’d be more likely to take it if I was closer to you. She could move with me, get some space from Tess. An’ things are still rough at school, between her photos goin’ around and the news about the affair comin’ out in the press. She’s miserable, jus’ wants to get away. Pretendin’ it was for me, but…. Didn’ find out about it ‘til she pointed out the listin’ at Broadchurch. I decided to apply. If I didn’ get the job, I didn’...there was no point in startin’ the conversation with you.”

She hated it when he was calm and rational when she wanted to be pissed at him.

"Oh." 

"She's so unhappy, El. And I want to be with you an'...I thought maybe this would be good for us." 

“You’ll be bored to tears, Alec. This is a small town, we get burglaries and petty vandalism. Not...what you’re used to.”

“El...if you don’ want me comin’ there, you jus’ have to say.”

Ellie’s sighed. “It’s not that. I just...the Chief Superintendent said that you were being...poached. That bigger districts wanted you on, since Sandbrook. More prestigious positions. You can’t stand not helping, Alec. I’m not trying to dissuade you, I’m just...trying to understand.”

“‘M tired o’ the...stress,” he confessed. “Daisy’s sick o’ my bein’ away all the time. ‘M not doin’ anythin’ particularly well, right now. Failin’ everyone. Tired o’ drivin’ ages jus’ to see you. Or not seein’ you at all. Been a shit father, a shit partner to you. Somethin’ quieter might be...a good change.”

“It might be a lot. Working together, suddenly seeing each other every single day. We might drive each other up the wall.”

“We wouldn’ be movin’ in together. Have our space, give us time to adjust.” There was a long pause, and Ellie realized she was supposed to say something. “El...I meant it when I said I’d turn it down. Jus’ like tha’, no questions asked. If you don’ want it, I’ll tell ‘em no and we’ll never speak of it again.”

“Can...I have time to think on it? When did you tell them you’d let them know?”

“Next Monday,” he replied. “Ellie...don’ feel pressured, yeah? I’ll not be upset with you, if you don’ want it.”

“I know,” she said. She didn’t.

* * *

From that moment on, it’s all she could think about.

She tried to imagine him breezing through the halls at the CID and into the now-empty DI’s office, or pouring himself a cuppa in the cramped office kitchen. She pictured sitting on the sofa in his office, him doing that god-awful list of questions that he never left time for her to answer, and the two of them cracking jokes at Dirty Brian’s expense (a term he had coined, when Ellie told him about his attempts to ask her out).

At home was even worse. She could almost see him standing in the kitchen, sock-footed, making dinner. The two of them having a screaming row in the living room. Waking up beside him in bed. She wondered, and not for the first time, how he would be with her boys. If they would get on. If Tom would despise him for not being Joe, or rather, who they wanted Joe to be.

She started to notice couples together, curled up on benches by the seaside, mooning over one another at cafes where she stopped for lunch. She’d been too busy, between her job and single parenthood, to realize how much she missed him when he wasn’t around. But Daisy didn’t live with Alec, and if she was away, he had far more time on his hands to think about his own loneliness.

Despite bigger, more prestigious jobs at larger divisions, accepting those jobs would mean to see more gruesome, grisly cases. He was consumed by those cases already, constantly living in fear of being just a bit too late, waiting just a little too long, and having the killer or rapist or other violent criminal hurt someone else. He’d work even more than he did now, and would barely see Daisy even if she did live with him. Not to mention those bigger divisions would take him farther away from Ellie, and the commute was already difficult on him. On them both.

But working together could be a disaster. They bickered at the best of times, to work together all day and night might make them hate one another. The thought terrified her, that she might actually lose him by having him too much. They were far too different, and that could work to their advantage, or it could completely drive them apart.

Ellie had never been good with risks. Even worse, now, after Joe. But how long could this continue? Exhaustion and long drives and busy schedules, sometimes to just doze on the sofa in each other’s arms because they were too bloody tired to do anything else.

She had told him, once, that he was bad at asking for things in relationships. For communicating his needs. Perhaps this was one of them. Perhaps she needed to let go of her own fear of this. Then again, there was a difference between holding someone at arms’ length as a means of protection and respecting personal boundaries. She’d lost all sense of trusting her instincts.

Christ, she wasn’t getting any closer to making a decision.

* * *

When Lucy agreed to watch the boys for the night, Ellie immediately packed a bag and climbed into her car.

They had both agreed to a strict ‘no talking about moving’ policy.

Alec greeted her at the door, smiling but looking nervous, as though preparing himself for an argument. She was determined not to give him one.

He had dinner waiting for them, and they ate like civilized people, pretending that they didn’t just want to abandon it all and go straight to the bedroom.

It’s where they end up anyways.

If Ellie had ever been forced to guess what kind of man Alec was in bed, she never would have chosen ‘indulgent.’ If he had his way, sex would always be a long, intimate, tender affair. Even when they were exhausted from a long week at work, even when they haven’t slept in ages, or were just desperately in need of some stress relief.

He was more often than not willing to sacrifice this for her own more varied needs, and quite enjoyed himself doing it, but there were times that he would still when she tried to urge him on towards the inevitable conclusion.

“Slowly,” he’d beg, burying his face against the crook of her neck, his voice little more than a breath in her ear. “ _Please,_ El.”

She knew, when he’d worked up the courage to plead like that, it was something he really needed.

When she’d nod in consent, he’d begin again, slowly, languidly, kissing down along her jaw and throat, lifting her hand to rest beside her head so he could entwine their fingers.

When he collapsed beside her, she immediately curled into his side, pressing her lips against his shoulder as his arm came around her.

“You alright?” She asked breathlessly, and he nodded.

“Yeah. Why, was it not…?”

“Good, as always,” she reassured. “You just seem a bit…I don’t know. I just wanted to make sure you’re alright.”

“Thought we weren’ gonna talk about it.”

“Is that what it’s about?” she asked. “Because maybe we should talk about it.”

He sighed. “I’s not about tha’. Promise. Jus’…been a long week. Workin’ long hours on a case, and then was s’posed to have lunch with Dais on Thursday. Totally forgot, stood ‘er up. Not the first time it’s happened, though not sure if that makes it better or worse.” He sighed. “How d’you do it, Ellie? Two kids an’ the job you have…”

“By constantly swallowing feelings of guilt and shame. She knows you love her, Alec.”

“‘M failin’ ‘er. She’s had a horrible go o’ things, lately, between her pictures goin' round school and the Sandbrook trial…she needs me an’ I’m failin’ ‘er.”

“You’re doing everything you can, Alec. She’s a teenager. Teenagers hate you, no matter what you do. Just a shitty fact of life.”

“But movin’... I worry, you know, that comin’ to Broadchurch would be...teachin’ her to run away. Tha’ she’ll never learn to stand ‘er ground and fight a wee bit. But it would be...it would be different if I were there, El. If I could be there for ‘er, support ‘er. If I was around, my job weren’ so...” He sighed. “I’m leavin’ ‘er to the wolves, Ellie. She’s not my girl, anymore, I can see ‘er...slippin’ away from me. Gettin’ quieter, less cheerful. She’s withdrawin’ from the world and I feel like I’m jus’ watchin’ it happen. I want to teach ‘er to stay an’ fight, but keepin’ ‘er in a miserable situation when I might be able to do better by ‘er? I’m ‘er father, do I not owe that to ‘er?”

“Not many fathers would even consider doing something this big for their daughters, uprooting their lives like this,” she praised quietly.

“Wouldn’ they?” Ellie still loved the way he seemed so bewildered whenever he learned it wasn’t a perfectly normal thing to unthinkingly make enormous sacrifices.

“It’s a good thing you want to do, Alec. I do know that. I just...need a bit more time to think.”

Alec pressed the heel of his hand against his eye, frustrated. “Am I scarin’ you off, Ellie?”

She snorted, rolling over onto her stomach and propping her chin up on her hands to meet his gaze. “You’re going to ask me that after sex? Came here willingly, didn’t I?”

He didn’t smile. Serious conversation, then. “I thought…I dunno. Am I suffocatin’ you?”

“Suffocating me? Alec, we haven’t seen one another in a week and a half.”

“But are you worryin’ about it? Me movin’ to Broadchurch, bein’ too close to you, bein’…needy?”

“I could think of a thousand ways to describe you, Alec, and ‘needy’ wouldn’t even be on the list. You want to move closer to the woman you’ve been dating for a year and a half and to give your daughter a better life, that’s…normal. Beyond normal.” Ellie sighed, suddenly self-conscious herself. “This is about me, it has nothing to do with you.”

That caught his interest. “Wha’ d’you mean?”

“I just…I don’t know. Worry what people will think.”

“Tha’ they’ll think less o’ you, for seein’ me?”

“No,” she replied quickly, reaching out to brush his damp hair from his forehead. “Never that. Just that…I don’t know. After Joe…maybe they’ll judge me for seeing someone new, for trying to find some happiness. Danny’s dead, what right do I have to move on?”

“Tha’ wasn’ yer fault, El.”

“Maybe not, but it’s a small community. People can be…gossipy and judgemental. I just…can’t afford to make mistakes. Even if I do everything right, I’m still the murderer’s wife. And if I do something wrong, then I’m _the murderer’s wife,_ with all the questionable morality that comes with it.”

“If people are judgin’ you, it’s because they don’ want to think it could happen to them. They don’ want to believe tha’ bad people look like everyone else. If you married one, there must be a reason. They look for ways that it could never happen to them. S’human nature.”

“You’re…right. I know that, but…it’s not just my reputation. It’s my boys. They’ve suffered enough because of one parent, I don’t want to cause them any more pain.”

Alec slowly ran his fingers through her hair, then down to stroke her cheek. “Their dad taught ‘em how to be ashamed, Ellie. Don’ teach ‘em how to isolate themselves ‘cause they’re damaged in some way. Speakin’ from experience...it’s a miserable existence. They haven’ done anythin’ wrong, an’ they shouldn’ have to carry tha’. Neither should you. If anyone deserves to be happy, Ellie Miller, it’s you.”

Tears in her eyes, she shuffled up to press a kiss to Alec’s chest and then his lips.

“‘M not jus’ sayin’ tha’ so you’ll agree to me movin’. If it’s too soon, if you don’ ever want it…I mean it. Want you to be happy, even if I can’t have you. But don’…stop yerself from livin’ yer life, or...stay in a relationship you don’ want, jus’ ‘cause you don’ think you deserve better.”

“You make me happy,” she assured him, pulling him down for another kiss, then another. Alec’s arms came around her, and he rolled them onto their sides, still grabbing and touching and kissing. “I love you.”

“Love you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Now, we’ll not talk o’ me movin’ again, not until you make up yer mind. We had a deal.”

“Yes, Sir.”

* * *

“You could at least try to be nice.”

Work-Alec was not the strolling type, apparently, and strode determinedly across the car park at such a pace that she’d had to scramble along to keep up. He’d been eager to jump right into work, and after glancing at files, he’d chosen to tag along to interview a witness, calling out this intention in the middle of the office. He’d given nothing but a blink in surprise when Ellie had confessed that it was her task he would be joining in, and she could feel the sympathetic looks on her back as she followed him out of the station.

“Am bein’ nice,” he replied, turning on his heel to face her so quickly that she nearly ran straight into his chest. The bloody wanker had the gall to smirk at her. “You think this is bad, should’a seen me at m’last place. Sandbrook wasn’ solved, hadn’ seen Daisy in months, no pacemaker an’ thought I’d drop dead any second. Bloody misery.”

He’d been out of place the second he’d arrived. The crew had introduced themselves as soon as he walked in the door, a friendly greeting that he apparently found alarmingly invasive. He looked at them all like a pack of wild dogs, waiting for one of them to lunge at him at any moment.

“Right, but you couldn’t have actually spoken to them instead of disappearing into your office immediately after arriving.”

“Had work to do, wanted to get started.”

“A string of pornographic vandalism isn’t exactly a time-sensitive issue. You could have chatted.” 

He snorted. “Chatted. I’ll meet ‘em eventually. S’fine. But they’re not my mates, they’re my colleagues. Don’ care if they’re charmin’ or everyone likes ‘em, I care if they can do their jobs. And seein’ as I’ve been here two minutes, the jury’s still out, yeah?”

It had been so long since she’d seen Alec around other people that she’d forgotten how gruff he could be. He was a right bastard, when he wanted to be, she had seen it the first night they’d met, but he’d grown so unbelievably gentle with her, despite all their bickering, that it was a shock to the system to see him look rather uninterested in all other human interaction.

“Were you really worse in your last place?”

“Sure. Woulda yelled at the lot o’ them for standin’ about and wastin’ time. Shoulda heard the nicknames I got. You’d’ve wrung my neck.” He paused, then, and cleared his throat. “Yer regrettin’ it already, aren’ you? Me movin’ here.”

“No,” she said honestly. “It’s just…a shock to see you act like such a bastard.”

“Thought I was always a bastard.”

It was her turn to smile, then. “Oh, you are. But you’re different with me than you were in there just now.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I’m not shaggin’ Dirty Brian.” She scowled, and he sighed, defeated. “Work is work. Not here to make friends. ’M not the…socializin’ type. No point in pretendin’ when they’re gonna figure it out sooner or later anyway. May as well know where they stand with me.”

It was difficult to reconcile her feelings. Joe had always been well-liked, before. He knew shopkeepers, knew the names of all of the dads of Tom’s football mates. Pillar of the community. That the same community already seemed put off by Alec was disheartening. She loved him, it hurt that no one else seemed to. But then again, they would see eventually what a caring man he was, that he was bloody good at his job. Joe’s exterior was a comforting lie, and Alec had no intentions of being anything but honest. In being off-putting up front, he was somehow trustworthy.

“‘M never gonna be liked by ‘em, you know,” he said, so softly it startled her out of her thoughts. His grumpy tone she had long since learned to tune out. “‘M no good at it, couldn’ keep it up. I don’ wan’ you to be embarrassed by me either, though. If people find out.”

“I’m not embarrassed by you,” she assured. “But it bothers me that they don’t know you like I do. And you’re not making it easy.”

“Don’ care what they think, I care what you think.”

They hadn’t wanted to advertise their relationship, not yet. Not with Alec just moving in and taking the job Ellie had been vying for. But the thought of sneaking around and hiding was far too exhausting to contemplate. So they had agreed to keep to themselves and not make a show of it, and people would find out when they found out.

Ellie sighed. “I know you’re never going to be a social butterfly, but this is a close-knit community. Don’t go out of your way to make everyone think you’re a twat.”

“Hm. Fifty-fifty,” he said, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. “I’ll make an effort fifty percent o’ the time, and you tolerate the other fifty. Deal?”

“I’m not sure that’s really how compromise is supposed to work. Aren’t you worried at all?”

“About wha’?”

“That we’re going to drive one another crazy, that it’s not going to work?”

Alec shrugged. “I don’ want it to go bad between us, but…however mad we get, however miserable you make me, it’d always be worse without you. I’d always be unhappier without you. If this ends, Ellie, it ends because you leave me. ‘M not goin’ anywhere.”

He said it in such a dry, matter-of-fact way that it almost didn’t seem like one of the most romantic things someone had ever said to her. She felt tears building in her eyes.

“Christ, are you cryin’?”

“I’m not, you bastard!”

Whatever smart-arse remark he may have made was cut off when Katie came jogging across the parking lot, waving a yellow Post-It note. “Ellie!” Katie caught sight of her, giving her a sympathetic look, as though to say _you poor thing, two seconds alone with him and he’s already made you cry._ “Ellie, call just came in. Vandals hit up the record shop on 8th. Paint’s still fresh, they think it’s been done in the last thirty minutes or so. Should I let them know you’re on your way?”

“We’ll go,” he answered for her, tossing her the keys to the car and moving to the passenger side. “C’mon, Miller.”

She tried to disguise her irritation. Best not to be too familiar with him, not in front of Katie. He was her boss, after all. “Can you just call me Ellie? I don’t really like the surnames thing at work. Everyone here calls me Ellie.” She raised her eyebrows pointedly.

“ _El_ lie,” he pronounced, as if the word had never crossed his lips before, as if he hadn’t been using it for ages (as if he didn’t groan it into her ear in bed). “Ellie. Ellie.” He met her gaze, the corner of his mouth just barely twitching upwards in what she knew was a smile.He shook his head. “Nah.” 

Twat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec finds himself the unexpected eligible bachelor of Broadchurch (despite not being eligible or a bachelor).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "It's just that I'd be worried [...] that you'd collapse on me."  
> -Becca Fisher

“What’s Alec Hardy’s deal?”

Ellie froze from her place by the kettle. “What?”

“The DI from your work. That’s his name, isn’t it?” Lucy asked. “The tall, skinny one?”

“Um, yes, Alec Hardy. What do you mean?”

Lucy rolled her eyes. “What’s his deal? Is he single? Shagging someone? _Looking_ to shag someone?”

“Uh…”

“Christ, do you guys even talk? I’ve heard he’s a bit of a bastard, but you have to at least have a conversation with him once in a while. He’s the one from that murder case, where he covered up for his wife having an affair? Damn, that’s loyalty. And he’s sexy, in a scruffy sort of way.”

She wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. They had agreed not to advertise it, but not hide it, either. Ellie didn’t want to lie, really, but she had no interest in Lucy being the first one to know out of all of her friends and family.

“It was…a bit more complicated than that, but yes. He’s…actually already seeing someone.”

Lucy tutted. “Course he is. All the good ones, right?”

“Well, he’s a good one,” Ellie replied with a small laugh, uncomfortable with the lie.

“Mm. How’s it going with the rape case?”

Ellie winced at Lucy’s bluntness. The sexual assault of Trish Winterman had occurred just a few weeks into Alec’s new position in town, and his hope for a quieter, less gruesome job had quickly disappeared. At times things were strained between them, Ellie trying to handle things with care and Alec bulldozing his way through to try and prevent the attacker from striking again. It caused some tension in their relationship, tension that made Ellie nervous. And though they fought, and their work life seeped into their personal relationship, and all of the other things she had feared…it was so very nice to have someone who understood. It was nice to be in a relationship and not have to pretend everything was fine, not have to hide how very much the job was weighing on her. She had to pretend for her kids, for her friends, for her family. It was nice to be able to snap and snarl and stay up late commiserating with someone who didn’t begrudge her for being haunted by her work.

“Luce, you know I can’t talk about active cases.”

Lucy shrugged, accepting the mug of tea that Ellie offered. “Well, keep an ear to the ground for me, with your DI man. Love to have a go at him. Mm, or let him have a go at me. The men in this town are rubbish, could do with some fresh blood.”

Ellie bit her tongue.

* * *

“What do we think about the kid? Twine boy.”

“The swaggery little shit?” Ellie supplied. “We hate him. But as a suspect, I s’pose he doesn’t stand out more than the rest of them. Not now, at least.”

She can see, just a bit, the corner of his mouth twitch upwards.

“Wasn’t askin’ if you’d date ‘im, Miller, jus’ wanted an impression.”

Oo, he was lucky Harford was with them, or she would have a smart-arse remark of her own. Threatening to withhold sex was a fun one, although he knew very well it was an empty threat. If that was the battle of wills, neither one of them would last long.

Her phone vibrated in her back pocket, and she squirmed against her seatbelt to fish it out, holding it to her ear. “Hi, it’s Ellie. Yeah. Yeah, alright. We can stop by there now.” Hanging up, she turned to Alec. “Take a right up here. Another scandalous mural was painted on the side of Trader’s last night, I’ve said we’ll swing by.”

Alec made a noise of protest. “Do they realize we’re trying to solve a sexual assault right now? We don’ have time for immature vandals.”

Ellie only smirked. “We’re nearby, and it’s a small department. Welcome to small-town detective work, Sir. Better get used to it.”

Becca Fisher had clearly been the one that called in, as she was waiting for them as soon as they pulled up. Harford climbed out of the backseat after them, looking just as bored and unimpressed by a petty vandalism than she did with everything else. She was so smug and cocky and far too young to have any right to be, Ellie just wanted to shake her.

“Christ, that’s quite a mural,” Ellie commented, trying not to giggle. Not professional.

“It’s pornographic,” Becca fumed. “That’s the second time in as many months.”

“Got your CCTV cameras working?” Ellie asked tightly. Again, not professional. But even if Becca Fisher would always be the woman that had an affair with Mark Latimer and visited Joe in prison, she wasn’t about to treat her any differently than any other victim in town.

She might, just a little bit, enjoy it more than she would have otherwise. But only a bit.

Becca led her to a back room, little more than a supply closet, and pointed to a screen in the corner. “I’ve saved the tape, you can take a look at it.”

“We will. Sir, why don’t you take her statement while Harford and I look through these?”

He glared at her, and she barely kept from smiling. Talking to someone: a fitting revenge for his snarky comment about Leo Humphries, after all.

The CCTV footage is grainy, but it’s better than nothing, and her and Harford collect what they can in silence before shuffling out of the cupboard to fetch Alec.

Ellie paused briefly to check her phone, and in doing so nearly ran into the back of Harford as the young woman stopped abruptly in her tracts, thrusting out a hand to stop Ellie from going any further. “Wha-?”

“Sh!” Katie pulled her back, just out of the threshold of the room so they could peer around the corner.

She might have torn her a new one, if Becca hadn’t begun speaking.

“Must be a bloody hard job, doing what you do. Dealing with those sorts of people,” she was saying.

Alec was pocketing his notepad and pen, distracted. “Mm.”

“Can’t even imagine. ‘Specially being new to town. What do you do to relax?”

“I have my ways,” Alec replied, in a painfully awkward tone that Ellie recognized as his ‘please stop making small talk and go away’ voice. At least he was trying to be nice and not telling her to shut up outright.

“Well, if you’re free...maybe you’d…want to relax a bit with me here, tonight?” Becca asked, taking what was likely supposed to be a suggestive step forward.

Ellie’s blood somehow went cold and boiled all at once, and Harford’s incredulous, highly amused expression didn’t help.

“ _God, no._ ” Alec staggered backwards, ramming into the side table behind him and throwing a lamp off-kilter. He managed to catch it before it shattered to the floor, but the comedy-of-errors fumbling had done the job.

Becca flushed bright red with humiliation. “Oh, shit. Um, right…”

“I jus’ meant…I didn’ mean to…I’m seein’ someone. M’not…interested in you. In anyone, I mean! Besides…besides her. And I don’t do that.” Alec cleared his throat, and although she can’t really see his face, Ellie was sure he looked equally as embarrassed. _I don’t cheat,_ he meant, an unintentional jab at Becca’s own past.

“Right. Well, um…if you change your mind…”

“I won’t,” he said firmly, though not unkindly. “Not about her.”

Her heart warmed so much Ellie thought it might burst out of her chest. She brushed past Harford, making a point of letting her footsteps fall heavy against the floorboards.

“Alright, we’ve got what we need,” Ellie announced as she entered, pretending not to see Becca spring away from him as though they’d even been standing close to begin with. Both of their faces were still red, and they avoided her gaze. “Everything alright?”

“Fine,” Alec replied gruffly, grabbing his coat from where he’d set it on the arm of the sofa and pulling it on. “Let’s go. Back to the station, we’ve got work to do.”

Ellie turned to Becca and grinned brightly. “Thanks for the CCTV. We’ll be in touch.”

He was terribly unlucky that Harford was there, or she would have snogged him right in the car.

* * *

“Is Hardy seeing someone?”

Ellie spun around, incredulous. Brian leaned against the desk behind hers, looking as if he hadn’t asked anything completely outrageous.

“Broadening our horizons, are we, Brian?”

He wrinkled his nose. “ _No._ Not like that. Gossip around the office is that someone’s dating the bastard. We’re trying to get a pool started. Since you two work together so much, figured you might have some insider info.”

Something unpleasant settled into Ellie’s gut. “Gossip around the office? What does that even mean?”

“You know. Katie said she was with you two when he interviewed Becca Fisher about the vandalism. Apparently she was all over him.”

“You…think he’s dating Becca Fisher?” she replied, trying to sound casual despite her discomfort. She thought of Mark, and Becca’s disregard of his relationship. “I’m not commenting on our boss’s personal life."

“Come off it, don’t act like you don’t know. Harford’s already said. Apparently, Becca offered to ‘help him relax with her tonight,’ or something, and he practically tripped all over himself rejecting her. Katie was cacklin’, telling us about it. Said he actually used the words ‘oh God, no.’”

She really shouldn’t have been so pleased by Becca’s humiliation, but it really was a relief. “Well, maybe he’s just not interested, doesn’t mean he’s seeing someone.”

“Not what Katie said.”

“He’s notoriously not a talker, he could have just made it up.” She wasn’t sure why she was lying. They had said they wouldn’t go out of their way to hide it, they would let everyone figure in out on their own. But it was two months now that he’d been in Broadchurch, and despite a station full of criminal investigators, no one had seemed to piece it together. As time went on, the idea of telling everyone grew more and more nervous, as though they _had_ intentionally kept it a secret.

Brian snorted. “Please, Becca’s a sure thing. What man’s gonna turn that away for the night?”

Ellie grimaced. “Ugh! You’re disgusting. She’s not exactly the pinnacle of morality, Becca.”

“Who cares about morals? It’d be a shag, and knowing Becca Fisher, probably a filthy one at that.”

“Please go away,” Ellie groaned, barely keeping from gagging.

“You wouldn’t turn down a sure thing, is what I’m saying. Not unless he’s seeing someone. Keep us updated, El. The pool starts up on Thursday.” He tapped his palm against her desk twice and gave her a disturbingly cheeky grin before making his way across the office.

Ugh.

* * *

“Ow, Ellie! Easy.”

“Sorry.” She frowned, kissing the spot on his shoulder where she’d bitten down and then replacing her lips with the pad of her thumb, rubbing gently. She’d all but left teeth marks in him.

“Pissed you off more than usual, have I?” He asked. Daisy was staying overnight at Chloe Latimer’s, and the rare opportunity for a house without children was too good to pass up. They were snogging like teenagers on the sofa, Ellie trailing kisses, down his neck and chest.

“No,” she replied sullenly. “Feeling a bit…possessive, I suppose. Half the town is after you.”

“After me? Like, pitchforks an’ torches, after me?”

“No, like ‘want to fuck your brains out’ after you.”

He sputtered. “What are you on about?”

She sighed. “Lucy kept banging on about if you were single, if you were seeing anyone, how I should let her know when you were ‘available.’ And then there’s the Becca Fisher thing.”

He flushed. “I didn’ know you’d overhead. El, I would never-“

“I know. But Harford heard, too, and told the whole CID. Dirty Brian came up to me at lunch today and asked if I knew who you were shagging.”

He groaned. “Christ, the gossip in this bloody town. Not exactly my finest moment, that.”

“I know,” she said with a smile. “Made a bit of a fool of yourself telling her just how uninterested you were, as I recall.” Alec groaned again and sat up, and Ellie followed, quickly climbing right into his lap, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

“Yeah, well, adulterous, cocaine-selling inn owners aren’ really my type.”

“Good, or I would have to make a very big change to my lifestyle.”

He smirked at that. “Flattered tha’ you would go through the effort.”

“Well, according to Lucy, all the Broadchurch men are shit. A foreigner is the way to go, so I’m told, so I’d better hold on to my good one,” she informed him, casually unbuttoning his shirt, tugging it out of the waistband of his trousers as she went, pressing a kiss right over his heart surgery scar.

He sighed, head falling back against the sofa, threading his fingers through her hair. “Ah, tha’s my appeal, then. I’m a novelty. Did you tell yer sister that I’m a right arse and that you’d be glad to be rid o’ me?"

“Didn’t tell her anything, besides that you were already seeing someone,” she confessed, somewhat guilty. “I know, I know. It would have been a good time to just come out with it, I just…didn’t really want Lucy of all people to be the first of all my family and friends to know.”

Alec’s arms slid around her waist, holding her tightly. “You know I don’ care about tha’.”

“I know. I just don’t want you to think that I’m…hiding anything. Gossip gets around, and I…I’ve liked having time to adjust. Hasn’t been easy, but I think we’re doing a decent job of it.”

“Considerin’ yer sittin’ in my lap like this, I’d say so. No complaints from me.”

She grinned, ducking her head to take his earlobe between her teeth. Alec groaned again, but it was a far more pleasant sound, this time.

“Do you think that…maybe we should just tell everyone? Get it over with?”

“El, I’ll pretty much do whatever you want, right now,” he insisted, sweeping her hair to one side and pressing his lips against her neck.

“We should always have our arguments when we’re snogging, they seem to go much more in my favour when your blood supply is diverted from your brain.”

“Ellie.”

“Bedroom?”

“ _God, yes._ ”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As things begin to progress with the Trish Winterman case, details start to emerge that remind Alec of his past.

“Found out I was pregnant from a bloke I had a thing with just before me and Clive got together. But Clive, he said, ‘if that bloke won’t do the honourable thing, I will.’”

“Wow,” Ellie breathed. That the disgruntled, constantly lying cab driver was such a man just didn’t seem to fit. “That’s quite a thing.”

Lindsay Lucas smiled weakly. “Yeah. He was amazing.” _Was_ amazing, Ellie noted in the back of her mind. Was. Interesting choice of words.

“What time did he get in on Saturday night?” Alec questioned. They’d gotten into a comfortable routine, something of a good-cop-bad-cop, though it was more of a comforting-cop-serious-cop. Ellie had a skill for keeping people talking, and Alec had a skill for keeping the interview on track and moving forward. It was certainly working here.

“More like Sunday morning,” Lindsay supplied, and Ellie scratched it down in her notepad. “Past one. He sleeps on that,” she said, nodding towards the sofa they were perched on.

Ellie nodded encouragingly. “Must be difficult, when he’s on late shifts.”

Lindsay looked uncomfortable, and just when Ellie was convinced she’d clam up, she blurted out, “not just when he’s on late shifts. He sleeps there all the time. He...cheats. Ten years now, he’s been cheating.”

Ten years? She refrained from turning to Alec in shock. They’d guessed infidelity, he’d more or less admitted it himself, but ten years? “If you don’t mind me asking,” Ellie managed, “why stay together?”

It was then that Lindsay didn’t hesitate. “He looked after me, when I made a mistake. We made a vow. To me, a vow means something. We made our promises in the eyes of God. If he wants to break it, that’s his mistake. I keep my vows. I can pour all of my love into my child. Don’t need much else.”

They packed up their notepads, Alec even more quiet than usual as they said their goodbyes, his shoulders tense and rigid.

“You alright?” She asked, as they made their way back to the car. Normally he’d already be breaking down what they’d just heard from an interview.

“This case…it makes me ashamed to be a man,” he spat, not even offering to take the keys from her as he ducked inside the car.

Ellie drove in silence for a long way, waiting until they were long out of view of the Lucas house before pulling over onto the side of the road.

“What’re you doin’?”

“Shut up.”

“Miller-“

“Don’t call me Miller.” She undid her seatbelt and turned to face him. “Alec.”

“Don’ start,” he said groaned, tilting his head back against the seat.

Ellie huffed. “When has that ever worked? I know that was difficult for you back there.”

“Why? Men cheat, nothin’ new.”

“Not just men, Alec. You saw yourself in her, didn’t you? Someone dedicated to a cheating spouse, to their marriage vows even when-“

“Stop it,” he snapped, pulling away from her entirely. He practically pressed himself against the opposite window, turning to look away from her.

“Alec-“

“I don’ need to be coddled every damn time someone brings up somethin’ remotely related to my past, Miller! Christ!”

“I’m not trying to coddle you,” she snapped back. “You were clearly upset!”

“I was upset because I knew you’d be badgerin’ me the second we got outta there about it!”

“Oh, you did not. For god’s sake, Alec. Can you not get defensive and angry every single time you experience an emotion?”

“I’m not emotional!” he snarled. “Yer the one bleatin’ on every bloody time someone brings up infidelity. Christ, you don’ see me askin’ you about yer husband every damned time the opportunity arises. _Heard Dave and Alison Cooper are gettin’ divorced, must be difficult for you, Ellie, given your paedophile ex-husband._ ”

“Right.” It was a dangerously low blow, dragging Joe into a conversation just to deflect. Ellie turned back to face the steering wheel, reaching out to re-buckle her seat belt and throw the car back into drive.

The rest of the trip back to the CID was made in tense, utter silence. Alec climbed out of the car while she stayed still, gripping the steering wheel so tightly her knuckles turned white.

“Get out, Miller.”

“I’ve got to pick up Fred from school,” she replied tersely, not even turning to look at her.

“Ellie-“

She lifted her foot pointedly off the brake, giving him time to leap back before she sped off.

* * *

“Don’ hang up. Please.”

“I am not in the mood to talk to you. I thought you would have gotten the hint after a hundred missed calls. I’m in bed, I’m going to sleep. Good night.”

“Ellie, please. I’m sorry. Jus’…let me say it.”

She sighed. It was late, and he’d called her several times in a row. She suspected he knew very well he would just piss her off and annoy her into answering. It had worked.

“Alec-“

“I was a mess today. I shouldn’ have said what I said. Ellie, please, say somethin’. Yell at me, anythin’.”

“I can’t,” she hissed. “The boys are asleep, just…” Ellie sighed, throwing off the covers and shoving her feet into her slippers. She padded across the hall, carefully past Fred and Tom’s rooms and down the stairs. “Alec, we’ll talk later.”

“I’m goin’ mad, Ellie. Just…at least give me an idea.”

“How long has it been since you slept?”

“Doesn’ matter, won’ be able to until I can talk to you.”

“You sound like shit.”

“Feel like shit. I’ve ruined everythin’, Ellie. Yer right. I was…thinkin’ o’ Tess, and then I was thinkin’ o’ you. And what I’d do if you…did the same thing. An’ it hurt. Jus’ thinkin’ about it hurt me so fuckin’ badly that I said some horrible shit. Ellie, tell me I didn’ ruin it. I said Clive Lucas made me ashamed to be a man an’ then I acted even worse.”

“Just to be clear, I am still angry with you and not letting you off the hook, but you saying a shitty thing is not the same as a decade of cheating. It’s just not.”

“No, ‘cause Lucas made huge sacrifices to take care of her an’ a baby tha’ wasn’ even his before he started actin’ like an arse. I was just an arse.”

“Don’t make me do this. Do not make me comfort you when you were the one who was a prick.”

“‘M sorry. ‘M sorry, El. I was…over the line doesn’ even begin to describe what I said.”

She sighed impatiently. “Look, what you said was shit, but it was true, wasn’t it? Can’t really argue with that. But it’s the fact that you said it to intentionally try and hurt me.”

“I know.”

“You don’t get to do this, Alec. You don’t get to try and push me away when you’re scared of getting hurt. I’ve been scared every bloody minute of every day since this started, you don’t see me lashing out all the time.”

“I know. I know, El, I’m sorry. Gimme another chance.”

“Alec-“

“You needed some time to think about me movin’ to Broadchurch. About…bein’ that close to you, about bein’ a real part o’ yer life. I didn’ push you, Ellie. Please, ‘m askin’ for your patience, now. What happened with Tess…” he made a wounded noise. “It fucked me up, alright? I hate admittin’ it, never admit it again, but it did. I got cagey, didn’ want to talk. ‘M tryin’, El. I am. Jus’…please don’ leave, I’ll do better.”

“Mummy?”

Ellie turned to see Fred on the stairs, rubbing at his eyes with one hand and clutching his blanket with the other.

“Fred’s up, I’ve got to go.”

“Ellie-“

“We’re not over, Alec, alright? It was a fight. I’m mad at you, but not that mad. I have to go. Please get some rest, we’ll talk more later.”

She hung up before he could respond, shoving the phone into the pocket of her dressing gown and moving to scoop up Fred.

* * *

It would be three weeks before she’d let him touch her again.

It wasn’t an act of vengeance or punishment, not really. Perhaps it was a bit of a test, waiting to see how long it took before he’d complain.

He never did.

It was almost irritating, really. She expected some sort of hinting, some sort of interest. She would reach for his hand, kiss him hello and goodbye. She was never cruel, or cold, or distant. While maybe some small sadistic part of her wanted him to feel sorry, she didn’t want to hurt him, not really. More than anything, she needed to reassure herself that it had been a horrible fight in a bad moment, and not something she would have to come to expect.

God knows she had said some awful things to Joe when she had been stressed and wrung out during a difficult case.

The first week or so, he was obviously grovelling. Tiptoeing around her, going above and beyond to keep his irritability in check. After a while, he seemed to grow a bit more comfortable with her again, letting himself bicker with her or make a snarky comment. Even as they began to return to their usual dynamic, he seemed quite content with what little physical affection they now shared.

It wasn’t long before the guilt had set in. She had overreacted a bit, she could see now. He hadn’t been abusive, hadn’t belittled her, hadn’t made her feel small or worthless, hadn’t insulted her character But he had brought up a topic of her past, knowing that it was a sensitive one, just to shove her away.

She would be drawing some firm fucking boundaries about what she would and would not put up with him saying to her, now. But his words would hardly leave a scar that she could never recover from.

Really, the reason they waited so long to get back into bed was work. The assault case only seemed to get more complex, everyone becoming more suspicious, rather than less.

Knowing that they’d be working all weekend, Alec sent Daisy to visit her mother, and so they eventually set up camp at his place, desperate to get away from the office, even if only for a few hours.

She didn’t even know what time it was, when Alec slumped forward to rub at his eyes. He looked exhausted. She likely looked like a right mess, too, she hadn’t looked in a mirror in days. Christ, when was the last time she’d even touched a hairbrush? “I think we need to call it a night. We’re talking in circles, aren’t we? Not getting any more done.”

He groaned. “Yer right. No point in discussin’ any more until we can talk to Ed Burnett further. Christ, how could Harford be so bloody stupid? Not tellin’ us our suspect was her damned father? Christ, El, if she fucks this up and a rapist goes free…”

“Don’t even go there. Don’t. We can’t change that now.”

If the situation hadn’t been so fucking horrible, she might have actually enjoyed tearing Harford a new one. Ellie had railed at her, letting loose all the things she wished she could have said for months, about Harford’s smug attitude and entitlement, looking down her nose at cops like Ellie as if she hadn’t been among the women to pave the way, as if Harford would ever have been able to be a detective without Ellie putting up with shit from men for years before her. When she was done, and Harford had slunk away with her tail between her legs, Alec had let out a low whistle. _“Might have to let you do the bollocksin’ from now on, El.”_

 _“Fine by me,”_ she had hissed in response.

_“I’d tell you it’s almost arousin’ to see you tear a strip off someone, but I’m afraid to be on the end of that bollocksin’ myself. So I’ll jus’ say well done, yeah?"_

Alec shook his head. “A fuckin’ rapist runnin’ loose in town? I brought my daughter here. What the hell do I do with tha’? How do I follow you around, follow Daisy around, keep you both out o’ harm’s way all the time? What if he targets you both, ‘cause we went after ‘im? I’ll never sleep again. An’ the rest o’ the women in this town, let alone jus’ you an’ Daisy? Christ.”

Ellie barely refrained from shuddering. “It won’t happen. We won’t let it happen. We’re narrowing in on Ed Burnett, we’ve got a lot of evidence stacked up. Thousands of pictures of him stalking Trish, dating far back before Katie even touched this case. Before she even wrote her bloody A-levels, probably, Jesus. We won’t let her fuck this up.”

He nodded, scratching at his messy beard. “I hope yer right. Jus’ need to get some rest, come at it fresh in the mornin’.”

Ellie waited for a comment about how late it was, how she might as well stay, how they’d waited long enough to get back into bed.

“Yer not walkin’ home this time o’ night. I’s dark. I’ll drive you.”

She knew he’d be that way with anyone, any random female he’d come across, careful to keep them out of harm’s way, but she did rather like how protective he was.

“You’re exhausted. You’ll fall asleep on the road. We haven’t slept in days,” she protested, waiting for the penny to drop.

It didn’t.

“I’ll turn the radio on, or somethin’. Keep me awake. I’ll be fine. Not a far drive” He stood, fetching his shoes by the door and then returning the short distance to the sofa to put them on. He didn’t seem to notice she wasn’t moving. He had tied one lace and was working on the second when she gave up, making her way over to him and nudging his shoulders until he straightened up to look at her.

“Wha’?”

Ellie reached out to run her fingers through his hair. It was getting long and rather unruly, she’d have to nag him about getting it cut.

“Dad’s got the boys tonight.”

She watched his throat ripple as he swallowed. “Oh?”

“Mm.”

After a moment of hesitation, he reached out, fingers curling around the back of her thigh. Something warm pooled in her gut.

“Ellie…please don’…I…will you…stay the night? Christ, I won’t even try anythin’, I promise. Jus’ stay with me. Please.”

“I would be very, _very_ disappointed if you didn’t try anything.”

They were far too exhausted for anything strenuous, but they undressed themselves and collapsed into bed, him curled up against her back, spooning her as they rocked together, grunting softly into her ear, hand sliding down over her stomach and between her legs. For all the time they’ve been apart, they certainly haven’t fallen out of practice.

They didn’t last long, after this all this time. Panting heavily, he pulled out of her, immediately wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her back against his chest. It was so comfortable and familiar she nearly wept, and the endorphins and stress relief of sex didn’t help. God, she’d missed him.

“I love you, El,” he breathed, pressing his lips against the back of her neck. “‘M sorry.”

“You don’t have to keep apologizing. It was a fight, Alec.”

“Thought I’d lost you.”

“It’s a high-stress job, we hadn’t slept, we hadn’t eaten. You don’t even want to hear the things I said to Joe in my worst moments. I’m not proud of it, but we all say shitty things. At least the shitty thing you said was true.”

“I jus’…hate tha’ I said it to you. About you. I was a right prick. Doesn’ matter if it was true, I was bein’ cruel.”

“Yeah,” she agreed. “You were. And as much as we’re both going to try to be good to one another, we’re going to fight again. I forgive you because I hope you’ll do the same when I’m in a foul mood and say something awful that I’ll regret. But Joe…Joe is off limits. He has to be. There are just some things you can’t throw in my face, Alec.” 

“Never again. I swear.” He kissed her shoulder again. “It’s just…How I fought. How we fought. Me an’ Tess. When things started goin’ south. Sayin’ things to hurt each other. S’no excuse.”

“That’s not going to work for me, Alec. That’s not going to be our go-to argument.”

“I don’ want that, either. Christ, Ellie, I don’. I jus’…old habits die hard. Felt backed into a corner an’ I jus’…lashed out. I won’ do it again.”

“As long as we’re talking about boundaries…I’m sorry, too. You weren’t comfortable talking about it and I pushed you. So many bloody secrets in my life, and now I…always want to talk about things, all the time, even when people aren’t ready to discuss it. I’m not entitled to know everything whenever I want to know it. I can't just...demand that you open up.”

He slid his hand down her arm and then held out his hand in front of her, relaxing further against her when Ellie took the hand and entwined their fingers together. “You were right.”

“Usually am.” He snorted at that. “What was I right about this time?”

“I saw myself. In Lindsay Lucas. And I was angry at her. At me. I got angry and defensive ‘cause I…I was embarrassed, Ellie. Christ, that’s what I’ve sounded like, defendin’ Tess all those years. Wantin’ her, wantin’ my family, even when she decimated our marriage. I was listenin’ to Lindsay Lucas thinkin’ _how could she possibly be so stupid to stay?_ Then I realized tha’s how everyone must’ve seen me. How you must think o’ me. Stupid an’ pathetic an’ weak.”

“I don’t think you’re any of those things,” she reassured. “I don’t think it of Lindsay Lucas either. Misguided, definitely. But dedicated to your family and your wedding vows, no matter what? Even to your own detriment? That’s…there’s nothing pathetic about that.”

He was silent for so long, she wondered if he’d fallen asleep. “Went to the pub a while back. When we were still fightin’.”

“Did you?” she sputtered in surprise. “Since when do you go to the pub?”

“Couldn’ sleep. Couldn’ call you. Went for a walk, I jus’ ended up there.” He was quiet again for a long moment, gently playing with the fingers of their entwined hands. “This woman walked in. She was meetin’ a date there and thought I might be him at first, bloke sittin’ alone at the bar. An’ I watched them…stumble their way through dinner, an’ it obviously didn’t go too well. They were jus’ tryin’ to get through a bloody meal. Painful to watch. An’ I jus’ sat there an’ thought… _this’ll be me, soon, when Ellie leaves me._ Goin’ on painful dates that always end badly, feelin’ more lonely at the end than I was at the beginnin’. Goin’ home to bed alone an’ knowin’ it was my fault for chasin’ you away.”

“Alec,” she murmured, squeezing his hand. She tried to blink back tears, she hardly wanted to blubber all over him at a time like this. “That won’t happen.”

“It could. It has. It was what happened before you.”

“I’m right here,” she soothed, squeezing his hand. “I won’t ever just leave, Alec.”

He pressed a kiss against her shoulder, then another. “You told me I was bad at…askin’ for things. In relationships. Can I still ask for things?”

Her heart ached. He was so very used to keeping score, his every mistake recorded and weighed and used against him, an appropriate punishment assigned. “‘Course you can. I wish you would.”

“Tell me you love me. If you still love me.”

She turned, then, no easy feat when they were so entangled. But after a great deal of awkward shuffling and pulling up sheets, she lay her head on the pillow beside his so she could look right into his eyes. “I love you. I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“Christ, I hope you don’t.”

She smiled at him, brushing his damp hair off of his forehead. “This isn’t the beginning of the end, you know. I’m not keeping a tally sheet of your fuck-ups to so I can do what I like and justify my own bad behaviour. This isn’t your marriage to Tess.”

“I know.”

“I mean it. Promise me you’ll try to not be an arsehat and I promise you that I’ll forgive you when you inevitably are one. And vice versa. No cheating. No grudges, no keeping score.”

“Promise,” he replied, leaning in to press a kiss against her forehead.

“Pinky promise.”

He raised a brow. “Wha’?”

“I dunno. It’s something Fred does.” She held her hand out between, smallest finger raised, until he did the same, hooking them together.

She couldn’t help but laugh, stroking his cheek as he smiled back.

* * *

Perhaps it would have been more professional to stay neutral and unjudging, but listening to Jim Atwood discuss buying condoms to have sex with a young waitress at his wife’s 50th birthday party was enough to make her disgust palpable.

“You left the preparations of your wife’s 50th birthday party to go and buy condoms so you could have sex with one of the waitresses? The same day you had sex with Trish Winterman. You proud of yourself, Jim?” she scoffed.

“Where did you have sex with her?” Alec prompted.

Jim gritted his teeth. “In the woods. Up against a tree.” His gaze met Alec’s, his expression turned smug. “Don’t you look at me like that,” Jim smirked. “‘Cause you’d have done the same if it was offered to you.”

Ellie wanted to slap him across his stupid smarmy face, but to her surprise, Alec didn’t even blink.

“No. I wouldn’t,” he replied firmly, unbending. “I don’t subscribe to your version of the world. But I worry about sendin’ my daughter out into it, worry about my significant other walkin’ about in it, with men like you around.”

Atwood’s look of disbelief was telling.

The interview ended, and Ellie went straight for the bottle of aspirin Alec kept in his desk drawer.

“ _Fucking hell_ ,” she drawled, popping two pills and collapsing onto the sofa, rubbing her temples to try and keep the mounting headache at bay

Alec collapses into his chair, looking over at her in concern. “You alright?”

“Ugh. Just…can you imagine? Having sex with your wife’s best friend and then a twenty-year-old waitress _on the day of her 50th birthday party_?”

“Bein’ the scum o’ the earth doesn’t make him a rapist, but bein’ used to havin’ sex whenever and with whomever he pleases certainly doesn’t rule him out. Especially with his wife bein’ out o’ town the two nights those other women were raped.”

“Have I told you in the last _two seconds_ how grateful I am not to be single and out in the dating pool when there are men like that out in the world?Bloody hell. Seriously, if I’m ever being a total arse to you, play me that interrogation tape.”

He snorted. “I am not lettin’ Jim bloody Atwood set the bar for men. Nobody should have to be grateful that their partner isn’t a maggot like him.”

“No, but having been single and middle-aged with a horrible ex-husband, and not to mention in a job where you see the worst of humanity all the bloody time... There’s something to be said for knowing, at the very least, your partner will never cheat on you or hurt you or hurt anyone else. It’s not much, but Christ, not everyone has that kind of security, do they?”

“Mm.” He pulled off his glasses and rubbed at his eyes.  
  
“You do, don’t you?”

“Wha’?”

Ellie gave him a hard look. “You know that I would never cheat on you or hurt you or anyone else. You do know that, right?”

Alec was silent for a long moment. “I’m…gettin’ there. After Tess, I…had a hard time thinkin’ that I could ever keep you. That I could ever keep anyone. But I’m gettin’ there.”

Ellie slid forward on the sofa, reaching her hand across his desk. He followed suit, sliding his desk chair closer so he could entwine their fingers, lifting her hand to kiss her knuckles, then resting his cheek against them, his beard scratching against the back of her hand.

“You’ve got me, all of me, as long as you want me.”

“Better not say tha’,” he warned. “Or you’ll never get rid o’ me.”

She smiled softly. “Good.”

“But I do know you’d never hurt anyone. Yer not capable. I’ve seen you burst into tears at a commercial for a car, yer a wimp.”

Ellie sighed. “Why do you always ruin every nice moment?”

* * *

The streets were crowded with women, women Ellie recognized, women she didn’t. They were all ages, from small children to elderly. She could see the duel blonde heads of Daisy and Chloe Latimer in the crowd, leaning close to one another.

Ellie had been near tears for the past hour, seeing the women beginning to gather. She felt a tightening in her chest when Laura Benson appeared, still nervous after coming to the police with her own rape, and further still when Trish and her daughter arrived.

Trish’s daughter had called earlier that morning to inform them of the event, ask for police presence. A show of law enforcement support for the belief of assault victims, she had said, sounding unbearably wise and strong and brave for someone so young.

They’d dropped everything to ensure they would be there.

Ten o’clock hit, an hour after sunset. One light appeared, then another. Phones, cigarette lighters, torches. The dark harbour was suddenly illuminated, the faces of these familiar and unfamiliar women. A display of solidarity, a demand to be seen.

Ellie found herself reaching out, her hand finding his and squeezing it tightly. Despite all fo the horrors of the last few years, she was proud of her community. Proud of how they’d come together, proud of what they’d accomplished.

She knew Alec was often annoyed with the small community, with the fishbowl-like atmosphere, how everyone knew everything about one another. But she hoped desperately that he was glad to be here, glad that he had moved his daughter here.

Ellie wanted to tell him that she loved him, but now was not the time or place. This wasn’t about them. And knowing Alec, he wouldn’t be able to dwell on this moment long. A rapist was still at large. They could rest when the case was solved.


	4. Chapter 4

Tom seemed irritated that she was even surprised.

“Don’t give me that look, I’m just surprised you’d be interested. They don’t exactly have video games out there.”

He rolled his eyes. “It’s with the football team, it’s not like I’ll be hiking out in the woods on my own.” He dug into his knapsack and produced a crumpled poster, half-shredded from lying beneath his books for god-knows how long. A strip off the top had been torn off entirely, and it was covered in pen marks from when he’d used it as a scrap piece of paper.

“Jack’s dad’s got a spare tent he says I can use. It’s just a mate’s trip, Mum, it’s with the team. We’re all driving out in a big bus.”

“It won’t just be your mates though, yeah?”

He rolled his eyes again in a horribly teenage fashion. “There’ll be parents there, too. Can I go?”

Ellie hesitated a moment. After Danny, all of the parents in Broadchurch were more hesitant now, more reluctant to let their kids out of their sight. But she couldn’t wrap him up and hide him away forever, much as she might want to.

“Alright, yes. You can go. But let your grandad know. If something comes up with work, I need to make sure he’s around to watch Fred.”

“Isn’t that the same weekend of that birthday party thing he’s going to? I thought all his dumb little friends were having a sleepover.”

“Don’t call your brother dumb,” she replied automatically. “Christ, is that happening already? Then I suppose you’re off the hook. That weekend, not the rest of them, mind.”

Tom rolled his eyes and snatched the flyer from her before trudging up the stairs to his bedroom. A second later, far-too-loud and terrible music started to blare from his stereo. Teenagers.

She realized, then, that the house would be empty. With Tom gone and Fred at his little friend’s house…for the first time in a very, very long time, she’d have the entire house to herself for more than twenty-four hours. Ellie grabbed her phone.

 ** _Fancy a shag-a-thon at my place this weekend?_** she texted Alec, excited by just the idea.

 ** _Hilarious_** had been his only response.

Alright, then. If he was going to be in a mood, she didn’t want him around, anyway.

* * *

If possible, he came into work even more snappish and dishevelled than usual. She got a few nervous glances thrown her way, and it had long since been decided that she was the one to approach him while he was in a mood.

Ellie wasn’t exactly thrilled about having to deal with him when she herself had a difficult few days. The first five hours of solitude had been marvellous. The other nineteen had been hellish. What did single people without children even _do_ with their spare time? She practically scrubbed the entire house clean just out of sheer boredom. No work emergencies, no kids to clean up after, or chastise, or monitor their homework, or cook dinner for. She’d even texted Alec a few times, but hadn’t gotten a single response. She was actually early to work, just eager to have something to bloody _do._ Safe to say she wasn’t in much a mood to deal with Alec’s attitude.

At least she knew enough by now to come bearing tea.

He didn’t even look up from his computer screen, just thrust out his hand for the mug. Ellie sat on the sofa, giving him at least two long sips before starting to talk. “If you’re going to be an arse, you should text me in advance so I can warn everyone.”

He groaned, leaning back in his chair and pushing the heels of his hands against his eyes. “Ach. Why does anyone do it, Miller?”

“Do what?” She asked, half amused and half irritated by his vagueness.

“The bloody...bollocksin’ around with a bunch o’ trees, eatin’ shit food, sleepin’ in those shitty little...tent things. Christ. Might as well’ve slept on the bloody pavement.”

“Tents?” Ellie repeated. “Are you talking about camping?”

“Obviously,” he growled, sitting back up and sulkily pulling the mug towards him again.

“I’m sorry, you? You went camping?”

“Fuckin’...lads and dads bonding trip shite. You can’t’ve forgotten, where the hell’d’ya think Tom was all weekend?”

“Tom. My son, Tom.”

“No, me an’ Tom Cooper who runs the bloody grocery. Yes, obviously yer son Tom!” He stared at her as if she had grown two heads. She very well could have and still been less shocked than by this. “Wha’, you didn’ know?”

“You took my son Tom on a _lads and dads_ camping weekend? Why the hell did you do that?”

“‘Cause he asked me to. He really didn’ tell you?”

“No!” She cried. “Why didn’t _you_ tell me?!”

“I though’ you knew!” He said incredulously. “Ellie, I’m sorry. Christ, I didn’ realize…”

“Why wouldn’t he tell me? He had to have known I’d find out. Oh, god, it was a father-son weekend? I need to talk with him, I’ve just been waiting for something like this to come up-“

“Ellie,” he groaned, drawing out her name in the ‘how could you be so stupid’ way that drove her mad. “Don’ do tha’.”

“Don’t talk to my son?”

“Don’...make it a thing. Maybe he didn’ wanna tell you ‘cause he knew it’s end up bein’ some big conversation with you. He’s sixteen, El. Maybe he jus’ wanted one bloody weekend with his mates without makin’ it about Joe Miller. He knows his father’s shit, yeah? He doesn’ want to have to have some deep discussion every time it comes up. He jus’ wants to be a normal kid, let ‘im.”

She huffed, irritated that he was telling her how to parent her own kid and more irritated that she knew he was right. “I just don’t want him to not be able to talk about it.”

“If you keep makin’ him dwell on it every time somethin’ like this comes up, he’ll start to avoid anythin’ that brings up the topic. He had a fun trip with his mates, he might not o’ gone if you’d given him a lecture.”

She scowled again, but was even more convinced that he was right. He had gone behind her back with Alec to avoid making it A Thing. She didn’t want him to exclude himself from things on purpose to avoid a lengthy discussion about a difficult topic. He’d gone through hell, but he was still a kid. And she shouldn’t keep reminding him how different he was.

“Did he really have fun?”

“Nah,” Alec sighed. “It was shit, we both hated it. Rained all bloody weekend. Avoided the freeze-dried rubbish for two days and stopped for fish an’ chips on the way home.”

He lifted his head to smirk at her, and something warm settled into her chest.

“M’sorry, if I…crossed a boundary. I really thought you knew.”

“I didn’t. But you didn’t. Thank you for going.”

She left him to catch up his work, retreating back to her own desk and pulling up her neglected email inbox. Shortly afterwards, Alec emerged from his office, calmly making his way to the kettle again, oblivious to the tense silence of his subordinates who were waiting for one of his foul-mood outbursts. It didn’t come. He returned to his office, shutting the door softly behind him.

Katie swivelled her chair around. “Honestly, Ellie. Took you less than ten minutes to calm him down from that rampage. Got to be a new record.”

Dirty Brian nodded from his place by the printer. “The Shitface Whisperer.”

* * *

When Ellie got home that night, Tom had his books spilled out all over the kitchen table. She fought back the urge to be annoyed. At least he was studying.

“Had dinner?” she called as she hung up her coat.

“Not yet,” he replied.

“Where’s Fred?”

“Playing legos upstairs.”

His bag still hung on the hook by the door, reeking of mud and damp. “Don’t leave your camp stuff here all night, take it to the wash when you go upstairs.”

He only grunted in reply. He ignored her for the better part of an hour, scratching out maths problems in his messy script while she fixed dinner.

When she couldn’t take the silence anymore, she finally cleared her throat. “You have fun on your camping trip?”

“S’fine,” he muttered. More silence.

“Alec said it rained all weekend.” He visibly tensed, then, his scratchy writing immediately coming to a halt. When he turned to face her, she forced herself to shrug casually. “S’too bad. You should take Fred next time you go, you wouldn’t believe the amount of cleaning I got done around here with you lot gone. It was fantastic.”

She could feel his eyes on her as she turned back to the stove, as though he was waiting for the ball to drop, waiting for her to launch into a lecture about his father. He was still staring when she glanced back, and she smiled at him. “Glad you had fun, Love. But if you leave that musty bag and make the whole house reek, you’ll camping out in the yard, tonight.”

He allowed himself a very teenage eye-roll, but the smirk on his lips gave away his relief.

Alec has been right, the bloody bastard.

Tom was well aware by now that he could talk to her if he needed, but he deserved to live his life without the constant cloud of his father looming overhead.

“The group leader couldn’t even get the fire started ‘cause of the rain made everything so wet,” Tom offered, startling her. When was the last time he initiated conversation? “But Alec got it in two tries. It was awesome.”

“Better be careful, or Fred will hear about his wilderness skills and want him to go to his Scouts’ events.”

“Will he have to wear those stupid little shorts like Fred?”

“And if we’re very lucky, a stripey little neck tie.”

They grinned at one another.

* * *

_Thankfully, when she opened the door, he could tell she was at least partially sober._

_“Can we come in?” he asked, and Cate shrugged._

_“Do I have a choice?”_

_“This is important. We have news,” Alec promised. For a moment, he wondered if she was going to close the door in his face, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time, but she sighed and stepped back, gesturing them in and then turning back towards the living room._

_When she disappeared from sight, leaving them to toe off their shoes at the front door, he felt Ellie’s reassuring hand on his lower back, rubbing along his spine a couple of times to comfort him._

_Finally, for once, he had good news for her. Hard as it would be to hear._

_Cate took her usual armchair in the sitting room, facing the window, leaving him and Ellie to sit side-by-side on the sofa. If it weren’t unprofessional, he would have taken Ellie’s hand._

_The room was still the same sickly shade of cheery yellow, the ticking clock on the wall above them seeming to echo in the silent room around them as he worked up the courage to speak._

_“We’ve come to inform you that we’ve made arrests in the murders of Pippa an’ Lisa.”_

_He had expected, hoped, for more of a reaction, though Cate remained placid. Perhaps she’d had more to drink than he thought._

_“Again? Lee Ashworth?” she asked at last, tapping her fingers restlessly against the arm of her chair._

_“Yes. An’ Claire Ashworth, for Pippa’s death.”_

_Her gaze flicked to him, caught off guard. “Claire?” He nodded. “R…Right. And what, I suppose I wait around, hoping you’ve done it right this time and got enough to convict them?”_

_Alec clasped his hands together tightly, watching as ends of his fingers turned white. “Cate…that’s not all.” He took in a deep, unsteady breath. “We’ve…we’ve arrested your husband, Ricky, as well. For Lisa’s death. And…accessory to murder for Pippa.”_

_He forced himself to hold her gaze, watching as the colour drained from his face. “No,” she said firmly. “No, he wouldn’t. He’s a bastard, but he wouldn’t.”_

_“He did,” he replied thickly, stomach churning at the pain on her face. “Ricky didn’ have sex with the bridesmaid that night. He came home early from the wedding to find Lee Ashworth and Lisa havin’ sex in the house. They had a row, Ricky attacked her. We believe her death was an accident, but still a result of Ricky’s intentional violence. Pippa was awake upstairs, heard the commotion. She thought Lee had been the one to hurt Lisa, an’ Claire and Lee killed her to conceal the murder. They told Ricky that she’d had a reaction to the rohypnol in his flask and had died. Ricky was not a part of the plannin’ or execution of Pippa’s murder, he only found out when it was done.”_

_“But you think he knew,” Cate interrupted, trembling now from more than just the withdrawal. “Has known. Has always known, all this time, what happened to Pippa?”_

_Alec clenched his hands together and nodded. “Yes.”_

_He could hear Ellie’s ragged inhale beside him. “Cate, I’m so sorry.”_

_“You were wrong,” Cate stammered, tears building in the corners of her eyes. “You were wrong before, and he walked free. You could be wrong again.”_

_“We’re not wrong this time.”_

_“How do you know?!” she spat. “Why is it different than last time?_

_Inhale, exhale. No emotions, keep it professional. He was a messenger of this news, not a part of it. This was about Cate and her grief, not his own. “Because last time we didn’ have their taped confessions. An’ last time their stories didn’ match. We’ve got them to admit to everythin’, Cate, all three of them. They corroborated each other’s stories.”_

_He watched, heartbroken, as the tears spilled over her cheeks, Cate clapping a hand over her mouth to suppress the keening, violent sound of horror and grief that escaped her._

_“Go make tea,” Ellie demanded, rising from the sofa and patting his shoulder firmly, the strength of her tone leaving no room for questions._

_He paused outside the doorway upon his return, listening to Ellie soothe her, Cate’s cries muffled as she wept in Ellie’s arms._

_“I know. I know, I’m so sorry, Cate.”_

_“You don’t know,” she heaved out, barely able to take in enough breath through each vicious sob._

_“Better than you think,” Ellie reassured. “Your husband, killing a child, covering it up and pretending like nothing was wrong? I know that better than most. I don’t understand completely, but I can certainly sympathize. You’re going to survive this, Cate. I know it doesn’t feel like it now, I know you feel like the whole world is just going to swallow you up, but…they’ll suffer for this. They’ll rot in jail for what they’ve done. And it won’t bring Pippa back, I know it won’t, but…but we can get her justice. We will get her justice.”_

_When her heart-wrenching sobs quieted, Alec gently pushed the door open with his foot, carefully lowering the three mugs down onto the coffee table. Cate took the cup handed to her, wrapped her hands around it and cradled it to her chest, but showed no interest in drinking it._

_“So what happens now? she asked hoarsely, unashamed of the tears still spilling down her face. “What do we do now?”_

_“We’ll make a statement to the press shortly. Then they book a court date. Lee, Claire, and Ricky get lawyers, the Crown finds a prosecutor. Then the court date comes up, an’ they enter their pleas. If they plead guilty, sentencing comes right away. If they plead not guilty, it will go to trial.”_

_“And what if…” Cate swallowed thickly. “And what if they make a deal? Try to give information to reduce their time down to nothing? That happens, doesn’t it?”_

_“It can,” Ellie replied, resting a comforting hand on Cate’s knee. “But they’ve already given their confessions. They’ve told us what happened that night. We’ve got enough on all of them that we don’t need to bargain. We’ve got them, Cate.”_

_“And what if something goes wrong?”_

_“I won’t let it,” Alec vowed, his chest tightening. “I made a promise to you, Cate, that I would fix this. That I would right this wrong. I never forgot about Pippa, about your family. I promise you that I will see this through. I won’t stop until the people that did this to your daughter are behind bars.”_

_The glassy-eyed look of shock slowly melted away, and Cate met his gaze. He could see the disgust that she wore every time she looked at him finally soften, the harsh hatred in her expression dissolving into exhaustion. She had been so angry for so long. She’d been through war. Slowly, she nodded._

_“We’ll keep you updated every step of the way,” Ellie vowed as they prepared to leave, shooting Cate a sympathetic, reassuring smile before they made their way out of the Gillespie household for the last time._

_He climbed into the passenger seat of the car, tilting his head back against the vinyl, feeling as though he’d just run a marathon himself._

_“Alec,” she said softly, and he could feel her hand come to rest on his leg, squeezing his thigh gently._

_He managed to raise his head to look at her, something in his heavy heart easing at the warm look she was giving him. She reached out to rest her hand on the back of his neck, and he let himself be guided down for a kiss, soothed by the familiar feeling of her fingers sliding through his hair._

_“I’m so proud of you,” she praised, pressing one more kiss to his forehead before returning fully to her seat and shifting the car into gear._

* * *

“Jus’ dropped the sock found at the site of Trish’s assault with the boys at the lab. They’re gonna compare the fibres to the ones found on the mouth swab, see if there’s a match.”

Ellie nodded. They were in bright spirits after a find like this, bringing them one step closer to finding Trish Winterman’s attacker. It was small, but she’d been doing this long enough to know it was so often a thousand little things that made a case rather than one huge revelation. Even Alec seemed hopeful, and didn’t even look disgusted when she unwrapped a sandwich and started eating in the middle of their meeting.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks for that,” he grumbled, and she shot him a Look.

“You know what I mean. You haven’t been sleeping. You okay?”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “Yeah. Just…had a dream last night.”

“Uh oh. Pippa again, or…?”

A couple of weeks ago, he’d dreamed that he had been called to the station to find Ellie sitting on the steps, trembling and glassy-eyed, wearing the same clothes Trish Winterman had been wearing when they’d first found her. She was crying and stammering, and it was some time before his dream-self realized that it had been Ellie, not Trish, who had been sexually assaulted.

He’d scared the life out of her, leaping out of bed in the middle of the night after being startled awake by the dream. He barely made it to the toilet, collapsing onto his knees on the tile floor and wretching violently.

“No,” he replied, shivering at the memory. “No, nothin’ like that. Just…dreamed about goin’ to Cate Gillespie’s house when we had to tell ‘er about arrestin’ the Ashworths and Ricky. Jus’ how it happened, nothin’ changed.”

“Oh. That’s a new one, isn’t it?”

He nodded, leaning back in his desk chair. “Least I was dreamin’ about solvin’ a case an’ not bein’ tormented by one.” It had been a difficult day, certainly, but not one that left them sick with despair.

“Definitely better,” Ellie agreed. “Maybe it feels like we’re getting close to solving Trish’s case, that’s why you’re dreaming about that.”

“Mm. Maybe.” It definitely felt as though the snare was tightening around the case, though he didn’t feel much closer to feeling sure about a suspect. There were still too many possibilities. “What about you? Been sleepin’ alright?”

“Eh, not really. Though Fred’s had a bit of a cold and was up half the night last night, that doesn’t help.”

“Christ. Rough week for you.”

“Mm. I brought up the lads and dads thing with Tom.”

He groaned. “Ugh, Miller….”

“I didn’t give him a lecture,” she defended. “I wanted him to know that I knew but that I _wouldn’t_ give him a lecture, not that I wasn’t giving him a lecture because I didn’t know."

“Is all o’ yer parentin’ this calculated?”

“It’s not calculated, it’s careful,” she argued back, wrinkling her nose and pulling a slice of pickle out of her sandwich, waving it in front of him until he reluctantly stuck his palm out for it. “My point, before you went all judgey, is that Tom said he had a good time and I think he was really glad that you came. You were right about the wanting to be a normal kid bit, and not getting the pitying looks for going alone was part of that.”

Alec cleared his throat uncomfortably like he did whenever someone said a nice thing about him. “‘Course.”

“No, not ‘of course.’ Thank you for doing that for him. It meant a lot to him. Means a lot to _me,_ that you would go, that he would want you there. That he felt comfortable asking you. That’s…that’s a big thing, after Joe. So. Thank you.”

Alec nodded. “Tom’s a good lad, El. I don’ think you need to worry so much about ‘im. He’s had a rough go o’ things, tha’s expected. But he’s got a good head on ‘is shoulders.”

“He does? Why, what did he say?”

“Ellie,” he scolded. “‘M not tellin’ you anythin’. He needs to talk without me runnin’ to his mum with every word he says. You can’t know everythin.’”

She sighed. She knew he was right. She certainly didn’t tell him everything that Daisy shared with her. She would, if it was something she was concerned about, but there was a limit. Daisy deserved to have an adult confident that she could trust, and so did Tom. She just hated relinquishing even a small sliver of control.

“Did he…mention the porn thing? Getting it at school, keeping it on his phone? I just…it’s important, please, I don’t know what to do.”

Alec cleared his throat. “He did. He’s not a deviant, Ellie, he’s jus’…look, we chatted about it, alright?”

She nodded, worrying the edge of the sandwich wrapper between her fingers. “Just tell me he’s going to be alright. Please. Tell me he’s a normal, healthy kid. That he’s not…” _His father’s son._

She didn’t say it, couldn’t bear to, but Alec looked hard at her, and she knew he understood. “He’s _fine,_ Ellie. You’ve raised ‘im right. He loves you, but he’s a teenage boy. Let him bloody act like it, for god’s sake.”

“How can you simultaneously be such a good man and such a twat?”

“S’a talent,” he shrugged, taking a bite of the pickle she had handed him. “Now can we please get back to work? I think we need to talk to the cabbie, again. Done nothin’ but lie to us since we first saw ‘im. An’ twine boy. Better leave that up to me. You’ll wring his neck.”

“Maybe, but if you want to talk to him today, I’ll have to do it.” When he raised a brow, Ellie rolled her eyes. “You have _lunch_ today. With Daisy. Honestly, I’m not your bloody secretary, I shouldn’t be managing your calendar.”

“Fuck. _Fuck,_ tha’s today?” He lurched to his feet, checking his watch.

“You’ve got twenty minutes. Why did you think I didn’t bring you lunch and force you to eat it?”

“Thought you were takin’ a break from badgerin’ me,” he replied, pulling on his coat and quickly shoving his keys into his pocket.

She snorted. “Not likely. Tell Daisy I say ‘hi.’”

“Text ‘er yerself,” he replied, ignoring her as she rolled her eyes again and bit pointedly into her sandwich.

He strode towards the door, and she made a sound of protest. “What, no kiss goodbye?” she garbled around a mouthful of sandwich.

Alec paused in the doorway, then brought his finger up to the corner of his lip. “You got mustard, righ’ here.” He tapped the side of his face. “I’m off.”

With a small quirk of his mouth, he disappeared out the door.


	5. Chapter 5

“Two years, and Laura Benson’s attacker has the same M.O. A serial rapist, spannin’ over two years? Christ, Miller.”

“I know,” she winced. She’d seen him go from worried to wild when another woman had come forward with a story about being hit from behind, bound, and gagged. One attack was horrible enough, but that there may be a serial offender preying on women year after year? It was almost too horrible to think about. “It may not be the same attacker. We can’t assume...”

“Is it better or worse if it’s not?” he groaned, removing his glasses and tossing them down on the dashboard to rub at his eyes. They’d just come back to the site of Laura’s attack, looking for nearby roadways and paths that might give them any idea of where he had fled to afterwards. “What’s worse? A psychotic serial offender or more than one rapist runnin’ around? Bloody hell. We’ve already got one before Trish who didn’t report, how many more might there be? An’ how long do we have before he attacks someone else?”

“It’s late, we’ve been up since before dawn. You need to get some rest.”

“Can’t. I want to go over the list of men at Cath’s party, see if Harford has got anymore alibis for the night Laura Benson was attacked.”

She sighed. “Fine, but you’re coming to the house. Being at the office won’t make a difference for that. Don’t even try to deny it, I know you haven’t been sleeping. Or eating. And your back is killing you, isn’t it?”

Any protest he may have made was cut off when her phone rang. Ellie shoved her keys into the ignition just so she wouldn’t lose track of them and then patted around in her pockets for her phone. “Ellie Miller.”

“Ellie, it’s Bob. There’s a young lady that just showed up here at the station, said she’ll only talk to you or Hardy.”

“Young lady?” Ellie asked, turning to look at Alec.

“Teenager. Fifteen, sixteen maybe? Long, blonde hair. Says she goes to the local school.”

“Daisy?” Ellie asked, and Alec immediately sat up, interest peaked.

“I dunno, she won’t say her name, won’t give us much of anything. She’s really upset. From what little I can gather, she was at a school party. Got grabbed, groped. Maybe worse, I don’t know. She said she wants to talk with you two.”

“Oh god.”

“What, Ellie?” Alec said firmly. “What about Daisy?”

“Thanks, Bob. We’re on our way, we’ll be there in thirty minutes.” Trembling, she hung up the phone, dropping it into the car’s cup holder. “Oh god.”

“Ellie! What happened to Daisy?!”

* * *

“Call her again.”

“I’m tryin’, she’s not pickin’ up. Fuck. Fuck! C’mon, Dais.”

Alec had been ringing Daisy again and again for the last twenty minutes. The damned thing would ring out and go to voicemail. He’d tried texting, but there was little else to do but wait after that, and he was far too nervous to sit still. So he’d gone back to calling.

“He didn’t say it was her. There must be dozens of girls at that school with long blonde hair.”

“Who only want to talk with us? Fuck.” He hung up the phone and immediately dialled again. After a moment, he pulled the phone back from his ear to look at the black screen “Fuck! It’s dead!” He threw the mobile down by his feet, enraged.

“Use mine,” she insisted. There was no use of comforting words, or telling him everything would be alright. Until he knew for certain, he wouldn’t be able to think of anything else but it being Daisy. “Even if it’s her, even if it is...she’s at the CID. She’s at the CID, she’s alive and safe now.”

“But El-“

“I know,” she said, throat tight at just the thought. “Is she...?”

“Still no answer. Fuck.”

She must have broken countless traffic laws, but they arrived in remarkable time, screeching into the loading zone in front of the building and throwing the car into park. Alec was out the door in a moment, and even with his panic and long legs, Ellie was hot on his heels. She thought she might be ill. What would he do, what would they do? How could they ever survive this? Her compassion for Trish Winterman suddenly morphed into a violent feeling of understanding. The anxiety, the fear, it was enough to bring her to her knees.

“Where is she?” Alec bellowed as soon as they past through the doors. Officers scurried out of their path. They’d seen him in all sorts of mood, but this rampage was unprecedented.

They were sprinting through the cluster of cubicles when the mobile in her hand started ringing.

“Alec!” she called, breathless, already bringing the phone to her ear. “It’s Daisy.”

“Ellie?” said the frantic voice on the other line. “Ellie, what’s going on? Is dad okay? I got, like, a thousand missed calls from him and then I tried calling back but it went straight to voicemail. What’s going on, is he okay?”

“Are you okay? Daisy, where are you?” Alec had already returned to her side, hovering nervously. Ellie instinctively grabbed a fistful of his lapel to hold herself steady.

“At the library at school! I was working on a group project. My phone was on silent. Ellie, is he okay?”

She let out an immense rush of air, lowering the phone enough to say “she’s at the library at school, she had her phone off. She’s okay.” Alec physically staggered in relief, and she managed to unclench her fist, pressing her palm against his chest to feel his pounding heartbeat. “Your dad’s just fine, Love. We had...we got a victim description that sounded a lot like you, we just had a bit of a panic. Do you want to talk to him?”

She didn’t wait to hand the phone over, and Alec snatched it from her grasp, eyes closing at the sound of Daisy’s voice, hanging his head as Ellie reached up with her free hand to stroke the hair at the nape of his neck. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m alright, Darlin’. M’sorry we scared you, jus’ needed to know you were okay. Yeah, Ellie’s here, we’ll be workin’ late. Text El, my mobile’s dead. ‘Course, Darlin’. Love you, too.”

He handed the phone back to her, the panic gone. “Hi, Dais.”

“His heart’s okay?”

She gently stroked her thumb over his chest. “Just fine. I’ll keep an eye out. You’ve got your spare key to my place, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Would you mind maybe crashing at mine tonight? I think your dad and I would both feel better if you weren’t home alone tonight. If not, Tom can let you in, him and Fred’ll be home.”

“Okay, sure. I’ll stop by dad’s place and pick up some stuff and then head straight there. I’ll text, okay? Let you know I’ve gotten there.”

“Thanks, Love. We’re overreacting, I know.”

“It’s fine. Detective parents, I’m used to it. Make sure dad’s okay, yeah?”

“Course. I’ll take good care of him, I promise.”

“And you’re both safe?”

“Safe and sound, Darling. We’re at the station, now. Talk soon.”

When she hung up, Alec still looked pale, though immensely relieved. “She’s gonna stay with Tom and Fred tonight, I told her we’ll be home late.”

He nodded, squeezing her arm where he still clutched onto her. “Thank you. We should go talk to the victim.”

“Just...take a breath,” she soothes, letting him fold her into his arms, standing up on her toes so he could bury his face into the crook of her neck, her fingers stroking through his hair. “I’ll go talk to the girl now, you take a minute to catch your breath, you can join when you’re ready.”

They stayed there, holding onto one another, for a few moments longer before extracting themselves slowly. Ellie reached out to stroke his cheek reassuringly, smiling when he leaned into her touch, then released him and turned back towards the station. The office is frozen, staring at them, slack-jawed and wide-eyed, all of the usual frantic and frenzied energy now utterly and completely still.

They’d be dealing with that, later.

* * *

Alec was amazed, as he so often was, with the tenderness in which Ellie handled every victim. How she oscillates between easy conversation to put them at ease and difficult questions about the crime that occurred.

The poor girl was near tears, barely sixteen, describing being groped viciouslyand nearly raped at a party six months earlier. Not related to their serial rapist, by the sound of it, but no less heart-wrenching. She had merely read the papers, been inspired by other women coming forward to report, seen Alec and Ellie’s handling of the case and wanted to speak to them, to someone who would believe her. Alec was devastated just listening to it, but Ellie swooped in as always, knowing just the right thing to say to provide ease and comfort.

They drove back to Ellie’s house in silence. He reached for her the moment they got out of the car, and they walked back to the house with their arms around one another. Ellie managed the door one-handed, reluctantly pulling away so they could shuffle inside.

“Dad?” Daisy’s head appeared around the corner, startling them both.

“What’re doin’ up, Darlin’? It’s late.”

“Was worried about you both. Tom’s up, too. We’ve put Fred to bed.”

“Darlings, both of you,” Ellie said, stepping forward to give Daisy a hug. Tom appeared in the hall, and she reached for him, too. Surprisingly, he allowed her to wrap her arms around him.

“S’pose you can’t tell us what happened tonight,” Daisy said, voice muffled when Alec pulled her into his arms. She took pity on him, the way he was trembling, and didn’t push him away in embarrassment after more than three seconds.

“No, Love. I’m sorry.” Ellie smiled sadly up at Tom, now a head taller than her. 

“Is it about the sexual assault case? That Trish woman? It is, isn’t it?”

“Really can’ talk about it, Dais,” Alec replied apologetically. “M’sorry.”

Ellie patted Tom’s arm. “We’re glad you’re both here and safe, though. Sorry to inconvenience you, Dais. Making you come all the way over.”

“Not far. I don’t mind. It’s Friday night, anyways. Tom and I were just up playing video games.”

“I should take you home,” Alec said, smoothing down Daisy’s hair, his other arm still draped around her shoulders.

“We already made up the couch for her,” Tom replied with a shrug. It was a surprising peace offering, one that Ellie hadn’t expected from him. To be willing to let her boyfriend and his daughter invade his space like this…it was downright touching.

“You sure, Lad?” Alec asked, and Tom shrugged again.

“We already made the couch up,” Tom repeated, as if that was answer enough.

“I’m knackered, Dad. I really don’t mind the sofa.”

Alec nodded, and Ellie suspected he was more than a bit uncomfortable with the idea that their kids would know they were sharing a bed. What he believed they thought the two of them did while alone together was anyone’s guess.

With Daisy fully tucked in and Tom having disappeared into his own room, they made their way upstairs. Ellie slipped out first to brush her teeth and put on pajamas, and when she came back into the bedroom, Alec had sunk down onto the edge of the bed, looking ragged, still fully dressed. She moved to stand in front of him, threading her fingers through his hair. “You poor thing, you look wrecked.”

“Jus’ couldn’ stop thinkin’ about Daisy. Those boys at her old school, sharin’ those photos of ‘er. Where the fuck does it end? Jus’ photos? Gropin’ and photos? Rape? Violatin’ a woman like tha’, violatin’ anyone…”

“I know,” she murmured, wrapping her arms around him and pulling him to her chest. “I know. And we can’t stop it from happening. All we can do is treat them with dignity and respect, and hope that it’s enough so that they don’t feel too ashamed or afraid to come forward, like that girl tonight.”

“The net just keeps gettin’ wider, though. It’s drivin’ me mad. Talkin’ to these men, you think...anyone one of ‘em might’ve done it. Could’ve done it. That’s the scary thing. Jim Atwood, Leo Humphries. Pictures o’ half-naked women pasted up on their walls, Christ. And at _work.”_

Ellie winced, thinking of Tom and his suspension from school, the porn on his phone. “Keeping porn doesn’t make them rapists.”

“No, but what does tha’ do to you? Starin’ at women’s naked bodies all day like its jus’ somethin’ to look at. An object to put up on yer walls. Entertainment. An’ those boys at Daisy’s school, passin’ around pictures of ‘er like they had any bloody right, not givin’ a shit what would happen to ‘er. Do they do tha’ ‘cause they already think o’ women like objects to gawk at, or did they jus’ get...desensitized to it over time? Either way, makes ‘em more suspicious to me. Christ, Ellie, you know what’s botherin’ me? This case makes me ashamed to be a man. What kind o’ world am I sendin’ my daughter out into with men like tha’ roamin’ around?”

The floorboards creaked just outside the room, and both of them turn to see Tom poking his head around the corner. “Sorry,” he mumbled, eyes pointed down at the floor. “Realized I forgot to tell you that Grandad asked me to tell you to call him tomorrow morning. He rang here, but I told him you were out late.”

Tom looked nervous and pale as he spoke. Guilty, that was the look. He’d overheard Alec’s rant, evidently, and heard it in a way that he’d never hear the same words from his mother.

“Thanks, Love. I will,” she said softly. “Get some sleep.”

Alec nodded. “‘Night, Lad. Thank you for lookin’ after Daisy.”

With a mumbled ‘goodnight,’ he disappeared back up the hall.

Alec sighed after Tom had gone, tilting his head up for a soft kiss. “Christ, don’ know how I would’ve dealt with all this without you, El.”

“Lucky for both of us, we won’t have to find out. Have I told you lately how glad I am that you moved here?” She pressed a kiss against his forehead, then moved to sit beside him, clasping his hand in both of hers. “Because I am. Every single day.”

“Unless I’m being an arse.”

“Maybe a little less, then. But I still am,” she teased, leaning her head against his shoulder. “Sometimes I just look at you and love you so much my heart hurts.”

“Mm. Yer bein’ soft.”

“Shut up and appreciate it, doesn’t come around very often.”

He smirked at that, then tilted his head to rest his cheek against her temple. “Christ, what a day. Time’s like these I wish I still smoked.”

“I _knew_ you used to smoke,” she grinned, pleased with herself.

“Oh, you did not.”

“Did too. You make your tea strong enough to peel paint, I knew you had to have been a smoker. Killed your tastebuds. Also, you’re very good with your mouth.”

“Yer complimentary tonight.”

He was deflecting, as he always did, when she complimented him. Especially when it was sex-related. Ellie straightened up to face him more fully, reaching out so she could stroke his cheek. Christ, she loved him. “How are you doing? Really, I mean? Thinking that might have been Daisy...”

“Tryin’ not to think about it. Not sure I’ve ever felt so scared in all my life. I would have torn out his throat, the bastard who did tha’ to ‘er.” He groaned. “And now I jus’ feel guilty. Guilty tha’ I was relieved tha’ poor young girl was assaulted, ‘cause it meant it hadn’ been Daisy.”

“I know,” she murmured. “I still feel guilty, all these years later, seeing Danny’s body on the beach. Because if it was Danny, it wasn’t Tom. It’s awful. But I know Beth would have felt the same way, if it had been Tom.”

“Makes it all the harder to cope with, knowin’ everyone is thinkin’ _at least it wasn’ me, at least it wasn’ my kid.”_

They fell silent for a long moment, Ellie leaning her head on his shoulder. He turned his head to kiss her hair.

“What would I do without you, El?”

“Hopefully be as miserable as I would be without you. I didn’t think I’d have this again. The…stability. The trust, to have someone around my boys. I just couldn’t see a place beyond Joe, after it all came out.”

“Mm. I know it’s not the same, not even close, but…I felt a bit that way after Tess. I wasn’ enough for ‘er. Wasn’ enough for Daisy. I jus’ thought…I jus’ assumed I’d always be alone, after that.”

“I hate when you talk like that,” she told him, pulling him down for a deep kiss. Alec wrapped his arms around her waist, and they tipped backwards onto the mattress, still clinging to one another. “Not so fast. Go get changed for bed, or we’ll fall asleep like this and I’ll have to listen to you whinge about your wrinkled suit.”

He smiled at that but did as he was told, easing himself off of the mattress like a man twenty years older than he was. It had been a long week, and the strain was beginning to show on both of them. Hell, it was likely much farther along than ‘beginning’ to show. It wasn’t long before he appeared again, looking a bit sheepish to be standing there, barefoot in his pajamas. Ellie held out her arms to him and he quickly took the invitation, climbing under the covers to join her.

“No signs of life out there?”

“No, think the kids are all asleep.”

“Mm,” Ellie replied, curling up to cuddle into his chest, Alec’s arm settling firmly around her. How natural it felt, all of their kids under the same roof.

“Good o’ Tom, to look after Daisy,” Alec said after a long moment.

She smiled. “Thought she’d be desperate to get out of here, after an evening with the boys.”

“Nah,” Alec said. “She likes ‘em. Wee Fred keeps ‘er entertained, she’s fond of ‘em both.”

“I’m glad,” she replied, stroking her fingers over the ridge of his heart surgery scar, barely discernible through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. “I thought this would be a lot harder. Meeting each other’s kids, the kids meeting each other. Was waiting for some rows to break out.”

“Still early days, yet.”

“Ugh, you always ruin everything.”

He smirked, again, pulling away just enough so he could kiss her properly. “You know wha’ Daisy said to me, a couple weeks after we moved here? She said tha’ maybe yer my reward. All the…sufferin’, the pain. She said maybe the universe was apologizin’, bringin’ you to me.”

She was never sure how to handle him being so unbearably sweet. “If I really was a reward, you’d think the universe would have stuck you with someone who was less of a pain in the arse.”

Alec smiled against her lips. “Mm. But I am a bit of a shithead. A reward’s gotta be appropriate for the circumstances.”

“Guess we’re each other’s consolation prize, then,” she teased, brushing his shaggy hair off of his forehead.

“I can live with tha’.”

* * *

Insomnia was nothing new.

Throughout a difficult case, after a nightmare, sometimes for no reason at all.

He wanted to sleep. The fear and chaos of the day had left him exhausted and desperate for rest. Ellie had dropped off nearly the moment her head hit the pillow, but he couldn’t seem to follow.

He vowed never to take this for granted, not like he did in his first marriage.

Even in the midst of a sleepless night, at least he was here, beside her. He wasn’t alone.

If he woke with a nightmare, he could reach out in a moment and touch her. Burrow himself into her arms and be comforted by her. Even if they weren’t together, he could call her, and she would answer, not irritated but concerned.

The loneliness didn’t sit heavily on his chest as it used to, rarely overwhelming but always there. If he wanted to kiss her he could lean down and kiss her, just like that. He could reach for her hand, wrap his arms around her waist. It was such a simple, ridiculous thing to be enamoured by (it’s what a relationship was, after all), but it still feels like a luxury to be able to act on such an impulse without guilt or hesitation.

He won’t take this for granted. Should the day come when she leaves, he wanted to know that he could rest easy having appreciated her.

“I can practically hear the gears turning in your head,” she mumbled, rolling over in bed to face him. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Can’t sleep. Why are you up?”

“Dunno. Was asleep. Could probably sense your brain short-circuiting and it woke me up. Thinking about the case?”

“Yeah,” he lied. She was awake, now, and he took the opportunity to curl closer to her. Ellie rolled back away from him, then reached behind her for his arms, pulling him along as he shuffled close to spoon her.

“You sure you’re alright? No nightmares?”

“No,” he reassured, pressing his lips against her shoulder. “Jus’…finding it hard to shut my brain off.”

“If I weren’t so bloody tired, I’d offer a shag.”

He smirked at that. “Too bloody tired myself to take you up on it, even if you had.”

“Well, at least we’re on the same page.” She threaded their fingers together, pulling his arms more firmly around herself. “You need to talk about it?”

“Nah. I’m alright. Jus’ insomnia, nothin’ new. This helps.”

“Guess if there was ever a good time, it’s on our day off. You can have a lie-in, if you like. I’ll keep the kids entertained.”

The kids. Their kids.

He closed his eyes. If he couldn’t sleep, he was at least content to lay here with his arms around her.

* * *

“Surprised to see him here.”

Beth had dragged a lawn chair over, plastic cup in hand. Ellie didn’t have to look to know who she was referring to.

“Yeah. Wasn’t expecting him, that’s for sure.”

“Good of him to jump right in without hesitation. Hard to get even the dads involved, when there’s chairs and beer about. He didn’t seem the type.”

Ellie turned back to watch the football game, an easy, just-for-fun game of ‘not keeping score,’ although all of them were secretly keeping score and the winning team would celebrate accordingly. Alec was out in the field with Tom and the other boys, as well as a few of the more excitable fathers.

“Wish I could commend him, but he’s only playing so he doesn’t actually have to do any socializing. Strategy under the guise of being a good sport.” She suspected, more so, it was because Tom had asked him, trying to sound nonchalant but grinning when he’d agreed. Alec, though he wouldn’t admit to it, has taken some pride in the boys looking up to him.

Beth grinned at her. “He is a bit anti-social, isn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Ellie nodded. “In the same way the Great Wall of China is a bit of a fence.”

Tom scored, and Ellie cheered loudly, shooting him a cheesy thumbs-up when Tom glared at her in embarrassment. He jogged back across the field to Alec, the two of them slapping hands in an easy, congratulatory way. Honestly, men. Tom would rather die than give out high-fives these days, but somehow making it more of a handshake gesture made it cool again. She’d never understand boys.

“You like him, then?”

“What?”

Beth smiled again, a mysterious expression on her face. “You like him. I’ve heard through the grapevine that people find him difficult, but every time I see you two together, you seem to get on well enough.”

“He’s a bloody good detective.”

“Did he really take Tom on a lads and dads camping trip?”

Ellie sighed. She’d never really noticed how bad the gossip in this little town was, until Alec starting whinging about it. “Yeah, he did. Shocked me, actually. Tom didn’t tell me, and Alec assumed that I’d put Tom up to asking. Didn’t find out until after they were back. Typical men.”

“That’s nice,” Beth said knowingly. “Nice that he’s good with your boys.”

She ignored the obvious implication in Beth’s voice. “I’m a bit surprised Tom’s taken to him. He’s gotten so...quiet. And broody. I know part of that’s his age, but...he’s changed. With what’s happened. I worry about him. But I think...I think him and Hardy understand each other, you know? Quiet and broody, the both of them. They don’t feel like they have to constantly chat. I’ve seen them sit in a genuinely comfortable silence for ages, it’s a bit eerie to watch, actually.”

Beth was silent for a long moment, though Ellie just _knew_ what was coming.

“Is it true?”

“Is what true?” she asked, feigning ignorance. Beth gave her a hard stare.

“Word about is that you and Hardy are…”

“Are?”

Beth huffed. “Seein’ one another.”

“Shagging, you mean.”

“Well, yeah. That’s what _they’re_ saying.”

Ellie snorted. “Yeah, of course. Not you, though.” She glanced over at Beth. “It’s not just messing around, you know. We’ve been…dating for a while. He actually…he took this job to be closer to me and the boys.”

“You were together before he even moved here? That’s been months, Ellie.”

“A year and a half, actually.”

“ _A year and a half?!”_

_“_ Um, sort of, yeah. Bit more, actually.”

The game dwindled as more and more of the adults tap out, leaving the boys on their own. Alec lasted an impressive time before even he strode off the field, back to his empty chair beside Ellie. He paused at Beth’s outburst, raising a brow, and Ellie could only shrug apologetically. Everyone was taking about it, they may as well confirm the suspicion. She fished a beer out of the cooler and handed it over to him.

“Hi, DI Hardy,” Beth greeted once she’d managed to regain her composure. He nodded in return. Most of his interactions with Beth had been limited to the Trish Winterman case and Beth’s role as her ISVA. Not exactly an environment to build a friendship, though Ellie was pleased that they seemed to get on alright.

Alec folded himself into the lawn chair beside her, still panting. Ellie frowned.

“You alright? You’re breathing heavy.”

“M’heart’s fine, Miller, leave it alone.”

He’d only been here for a few months, now, but in that short time Ellie had doubled-down on her watch over him. She’d waltz into his office like she owned the place and drop a second order of whatever’s she’d picked up for lunch in front of him. Then she’d nag at him until he at least half-finished it. Within a few weeks of arriving, he’d gotten a call from a local doctor who had ‘heard he’d had heart problems’ and that he should ‘stop by.’ Ellie, of course, had given him Alec’s number.

“Brave soul,” Beth said casually, smirking in his direction. “Divin’ into a football match. Some of those dads treat these games like they’re reliving their glory days.”

“I was never much good at football. No glory days to relive,” he shrugged. “How’s Trish?”

“No!” Ellie cried, lowering the drink she had just lifted to her lips. “No work talk today. We are here to get away from that and enjoy ourselves, so you’re just going to have to learn to make small talk.”

Before he could make a snarky comment, which he undoubtedly would have, they were interrupted by a cry of “Alec!” They all turned their heads to see Fred tearing through the field towards him, thrusting his little finger outwards, bottom lip trembling. “Alec, _look_!”

Ellie had been concerned about Fred’s immediate attachment to Alec. Tom had gone through his own shit in coping with his father’s actions, but Fred had been far too young. He likely didn’t even remember Joe, and so he had latched onto Alec like the male role model he’d never had. She suspected that Alec had at first been uncomfortable with it, not wanting to break the boy’s heart if things didn’t work out between them and not wanting to make Ellie uncomfortable with a man being too close to her son, after Joe’s perversions. But now, after just a few months, Fred barely seemed to remember what it was like when Alec wasn’t around, and Ellie found herself silently hoping he’d never have to, for all their sakes.

Now she just worried that Fred exhausted him. If Alec was around, he wanted Alec to tuck him in at night, wanted Alec to help him find his socks, wanted Alec to teach him how to tie his shoes. He’d never said one word of complaint, bless him. Not even a dry expression or a sarcastic snort.When Fred only wanted Alec to fix his breakfast, he’d uneventfully lower the newspaper and fetch a bowl and the boy’s favourite cereal, only muttering about sugar content.

“Wha’s that, lad?” Alec asked, taking the boy’s hand and tilting his own head back to allow his eyes to focus.

“A splinter!” Fred pouted.

“Where’d ya get that, then?” Alec inquired, leaning over to dig through the knapsack Ellie had brought with her to pull out the small first aid kit.

“The bench!” Fred sniffled, rubbing at his eyes with his free, unwounded hand. Ellie barely refrained from cooing. She’d hate to break the moment and make either of them self-conscious.

Alec perched his eyeglasses on the end of his nose in a way that made him seem far older than he was, making swift work of the splinter with a pair of tweezers from the kit and holding it out in front of him for Fred to see. “Look at the size o’ that! Reckon you could play cricket with that thing.”

Tears not even yet dried on his cheeks, Fred beamed at Alec like he’s just performed a medical marvel.

“Let me see,” Ellie said, taking Fred’s finger to examine it. Thoroughly inspected, she kissed the tip of his finger and then ruffled his hair. “Good as new. What do we say to Alec?”

“Thank you, Alec!” Fred cried, already turning to run back to his little gang of friends.

Ellie grinned at him, and he gave her a warning glare, the kind that said _don’t you dare make a comment._

“You’re a saint.”

“Hope not,” he replied, taking a sip of his drink. “Saints are celibate, aren’ they?”

“Oi! Cheeky,” she scolded with a grin. He must be in an unbelievably good mood to make such a smug comment in front of Beth.

“Where’s Daisy?”

“Over with Chloe and their little group,” Beth answered, nodding her head behind them. “Thick as thieves, those two.”

Alec nodded. “Chloe’s a good lass. Daisy was strugglin’ to settle in for the first few weeks. Meant a lot to ‘er that Chloe took ‘er in.”

“Daisy’s a sweetheart,” Beth offered, and the two of them share a smile that made Ellie’s heart warm. If there’s one thing Beth and Alec can bond over, it’s their adoration of their daughters.

“She’s spendin’ next weekend at ‘er mother’s. I’ve only had ‘er a few months but not seein’ ‘er for two days seems like a lifetime.”

“Is Daisy looking forward to it?” Ellie asked, and he shrugged.

“Think she misses Tess more than she expected to, though she always comes back from ‘er mother’s with a long list of complaints. Two days is long enough, it seems. I’m hopin’ that the distance might improve things between ‘em, when they’re not in each other’s hair all the time.”

It’s another hour before the boys pack in the game, ravenous and thirsty and exhausted. The wind off the sea has picked up, and the group moves a little further inland, the mums producing endless bagged sandwiches and sports drinks. Alec, bless him, was stuck chatting to another rather enthusiastic father, though he seemed to do little else besides nod robotically as the other man spoke. His gaze wandered, and he caught Ellie’s eye, a small smirk appearing on his lips.

Christ, he was handsome like this. Dressed in his casual uniform of a jumper and button-down shirt, one hand shoved into the pocket of his trousers. Contentment and happiness bubbling up in her chest, she mouthed _I love you._

His eyes softened, and he nodded, just minutely, but enough to let her know the sentiment was returned.

Ellie tilted her head to the side, a silent ‘come here’ gesture, and he made his excuses to the other man before strolling across the grass beside her. “Alright?”

“Trying to rescue you. Once he starts, you’ll never get Andrew to stop talking.”

“Thought that was just a Broadchurch conversation,” he replied dryly, smiling shyly in a familiar way when he’s just made a cheeky joke.

“Well, he’s worse than most,” she grinned. “You can put your arm around me.”

“Wha?”

Ellie smiled again. “You can put your arm around me, I don’t mind,” she said again. “I know you want to.”

“Wha’, now? Thought we weren’ gonna make a show o’ it in front o’ the town.”

“The station already knows, after that little display yesterday. C’mon, they’re going to gossip. We may as well give them something to talk about.”

He looked at her seriously. “El, are you sure? No goin’ back from this.”

“Alright, calm down, it’s a cuddle, not an amputation. Now put your arm around me or I’ll think you’re embarrassed of me and I’ll be very cross.”

He certainly wouldn’t want that. He’d known a lot about Ellie Miller, before moving here. After a year of dating, he had known her habits, had come to expect some of her reactions, had learned a bit about how her brain worked. What he hadn’t known, however, is how truly fucking terrifying she could be. She could tear a man to goddamn shreds and smile while doing it. _We just need you to sign a statement at the station,_ she’d said just a couple of weeks earlier to Leo Humphries’ girlfriend, obviously covering for him. _Basically just says if you’re lying, you’re going to prison for perjury._ Jesus. It had been chilling how perky she was while delivering a borderline threat.

He smirked a bit at the memory but did as he was told, shifting his drink to his other hand so he could slip his arm around her waist. She beamed at him and dragged him into a conversation with one of the mums from Fred’s school. Alec seemed quite content, as he always was, not to be directly involved in the chat but comfortably silent on the sidelines.

They chatted amicably for some time, making the rounds, and Ellie was proud of him for being so un-grumpy despite all the people about. She tilted her head up towards him, smiling, and he took the hint to bend to kiss her, just briefly, on the lips.

“Ooo, that’ll get people talking,” she teased, and he may very well have blushed if he’d been the type.

Eventually, the late hour and the chaos of the day took its toll, and the children began to make their way back to the adults, whining and overtired and eager to go.

Fred arrived first, saying nothing but clinging to Alec’s leg, Alec resting a hand on the top of the boy’s head.

Daisy was next, and then Tom, and they quietly gathered together their lawn chairs and knapsacks, Ellie bidding goodbye to Beth and the girls before turning back.

“Goodnight, Hardys,” she said with a smile, going up on her toes to kiss Alec’s cheek. “Eat more than just takeaway this week, please?”

“Fine, _Mum,_ ” Daisy replied dryly, though they caught each other’s eye and grinned.

“You better be careful,” Darlin’,” Alec warned, putting a hand on Daisy’s shoulder. “Vengeful thing, she is. She’d marry me jus’ to spite you for sayin’ that.”

* * *

The second they stepped into the station that morning, the entire office went quiet, all of the heads turning in their direction.

“Oi, fuck off,” Alec growled. “Get a life, the lot o’ you.”

He stormed into his office and slammed the door behind him.

Ellie sighed, left alone with their scrutiny. “For god’s sake, do you have nothing better to do?”

“So…you and Hardy are shagging, yeah?” Brian leered, and she rolled her eyes.

“Sorry, how is that any of your business?” She snapped.

“C’mon, Ellie, we got a new pool going.”

“Are you so bloody bored in your own personal lives that you have to take bets on mine?”

“Don’t change the subject. C’mon. Hardy’s been here five months, we’ve split it into week-long sections. Whoever’s closest gets the pot.”

“And if no one gets it, do I get it?”

“I said whoever’s closest.”

Ellie shrugged. “If none of the guesses are within a week, then. I get to keep it.”

Brian raised a brow. “You could be lying, trying to get the money.”

She leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms. “Confirm it with Hardy when I’m done. Go on, then. Let me see.” At his dumb look, she thrust out a hand. “C’mon. Hand it over.”

There was some fumbling, and someone eventually produced a handwritten sheet of paper, with a dozen or so names written down beside a selection of dates.

Ellie scanned the paper, then handed it back with a smirk. “Pay up.”

“No way,” Brian replied, snatching back the paper to look it over. “C’mon, when was it?”

“Last summer.”

Brian scoffed. “ _The summer?”_

“No, last summer. The summer before this past one.”

“But that’s-“

“Almost two years ago? Yeah. Way outside of your little five month chart.” Ellie settled further into her chair smugly. “He took this job so he could move to Broadchurch for me and the boys.”

“You knew each other before? He calls you ‘Miller.’”

“Oo, not all the time, he doesn’t,” she replied, waggling her eyebrows.

Brian’s expression soured. “You’re lying.”

“Oh, for God’s sake, what did you expect? We’re not disgusting, we’re not perverts, having a shag in his office. We’re professionals at work.”

And while it was true, they weren’t perverts who crossed the line of appropriate behaviour by having sex at work, she decided to keep to herself the frequent occasions they had gone to a secluded area _after_ work and had a shag in the car. Two households full of children, they were forced to be creative. Thank Christ that the seats in her car reclined _all_ the way back.

“You’re lying,” Brian repeated. “Room full of detectives? No way no one noticed you two have been together that long.”

“Ask him.”

He turned to look at Alec’s office, the one he’d disappeared into with a curse and a slammed door. He immediately turned back, nervous. “You ask him.”

Ellie grinned wolfishly, pointedly sliding her phone off of her table and sending him a text.

Ten seconds later, the door flew open and Alec appeared, looking murderous. “ _What?_ ”

“They’re taking bets. How long have we been dating? First date, when was it? Oh, don’t be an arse, just tell them and get it over with and we can all get back to work.”

He rolled his eyes. “First date?”

“First night we met, that counts as a date.”

“July fourteenth, year before last.”

Ellie leaned back even further in her chair, smirking. “Pay up, Brian. That’ll buy us a few nice dinners, I think. Mm, Hardy?”

“No, don’ drag me into this,” he accused, looking disgruntled by the attention.

“You knew what you were getting yourself into when you moved here,” she shot back. “Alright, you’ve served your purpose. Back to work, off you go.”

“Bloody woman,” Alec grumbled, turning back into his office.

“Dinner out tonight with our winnings, though?”

“Yup,” he called back, slamming the door shut again behind him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "He is not what men are. He's an aberration." 
> 
> "I hope so."

Her whole body trembled as she sobbed on the steps of the CID, her arms wrapped around herself, practically folded in half. She could hear the familiar pattern of his footsteps approach behind her, and she brushed the tears from her eyes.

“You okay?” he asked softly, lowering himself down onto the concrete step beside her.

Ellie sniffled. “No,” she said honestly. She was always the one tortured by victim statements, by what had been done to people. She gave away her personal number, she wept when the women had come forward with stories of rape. Alec was the one who was haunted by the horrors of the criminals, of their psychology. She had never cared, as long as they’d caught the bastard and he was in jail. But just then, hearing the uncaring, cold way in which Leo Humphries had delivered his justification, that the women weren’t virgins, they’d been fucked before, so _what was one more?_ she’d gone to the toilets and been violently sick. She felt violated, molested, just hearing the words coming from his mouth. The way he looked at her...like she was a thing. Like any woman was an object to be used and disposed of... She wasn’t sure how long she had laid on the floor, stomach heaving, until she’d finally pulled herself up and gone outside for some air.

Alec threaded his fingers together. “We have ‘im, now. That footage…the videos he took of the attack…that’ll send ‘im down.”

Ellie nodded weakly, tears still coming. He knew, they both knew, that it wasn’t it. An arrest didn’t fix the crimes that had been committed. It wouldn’t stop Trish Winterman from being afraid to be out at night, it wouldn’t stop Laura Benson from feeling shame. It wouldn’t stop other rapists from assaulting innocent people.

“He is not what men are,” Alec said at last, tone firm but his voice cracking, just a bit. “He’s an aberration.”

She fell against him then, clutching onto his leg, and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head as she wept.

“He is not what men are,” Alec repeated, arms tightening even more around her. Ellie thought of him, of his nightmares, of how he kept a photo of little Pippa Gillespie in his wallet, carried her water-logged body out of the river, refusing to let the case die until he could bring justice to the people who had done such a thing to her. Ellie buried her face into the crook of his neck.

“I know.”

* * *

They barely spoke in the days after the case.

It wasn’t that she meant to, or that she was angry. Much like after Joe’s confession, Ellie had found her entire worldview turned upside down, and it wasn’t an easy thing to process.

It all kept running through her mind on an endless loop. Seeing Trish for the first time, confused and disoriented. The look on her face when they’d told her who had done it, a sixteen year old boy had raped her. The cold, smug expression Leo Humphries wore as he casually told them of his attacks. How, when he had stood up from the interrogation table after his confession, he had taken a step towards Ellie, a glint in his eye. She’d have torn him a new one herself if she wasn’t in such shock from the interview. The officer had caught his shoulder to stop him and Alec had stepped out in front of her, pulling her behind him and leaning into Humphries’ space. _“You so much as lay one finger on her, you even look at her in a way I don’ like, and I will break every bone in yer body an’ I will save yer skull for last, you got tha’? If I hear of you layin’ hands on any of my female coworkers, there will not be enough of you left for fingerprints or dental records to identify yer body.”_

Alec, wonderfully, didn’t comment on her unexpected silence. Didn’t get upset when she could barely speak to him. They communicated in monosyllabic tones for nearly four days, until she found herself unexpectedly at his doorstep, long after work had finished.

“Ellie?” He asked. He was dressed casually, glasses still perched on the bridge of his nose. “What are you doin’ here?”

“Was going past, saw your light on.”

“At two o’clock in the morning? Halfway up a hill?”

“I was hoping you’d still be up, alright? Don’t be a twat about it.”

“Hang on a minute.” He disappeared back inside, then emerged with his coat on and a blanket in his arms, draping it over her shoulders and leading her to the chairs overlooking the water. “You alright?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry. Just...been a rough few days.”

“Have you been sleepin’?”

She sighed. “On and off. Depends on the night. Just...I feel a bit like I’m in shock. Thought it would be such a relief to have it over. But it’s been...hard.”

His hand went up to reach for her, and then he pulled it back to his side. “I know. Catchin’ the guy doesn’ undo wha’s been done. At the end of the day, those women were still raped. People are hurt, Danny and Pippa are still dead. When the adrenaline fades…yer jus’ left with the tragedy.”

Tears spilled over, and she bent forward at the waist, wracked with unexpected sobs. He slowly moved to sit beside her, hands cradling both sides of her head and pressing a kiss against her forehead.

He was right. He was exactly right, the feeling of crushing disappointment. When the adrenaline of the chase was over, all they were left with was the horror of what had happened and no distraction, no drive to keep moving.

“I’m so sorry, El,” he murmured, rocking her gently. She wasn’t sure what he was apologizing for, exactly. Perhaps it was on behalf of all men, though it hardly seemed his burden to bear. Perhaps it was for the shit she’d gone through, these past few years. What Joe had done, what Leo Humphries had done, how they had both torn her safe little hometown to shreds.

She turned her head to kiss him, and when he tried to pull away, dragged him in again.

“El…”

“We’ll be quiet, we won’t wake Daisy.”

“Ellie…you sure?”

Maybe it was surprising, wanting to drag him into bed after what they’d just heard today, but she felt…dirty. Leo Humphries had raped women, Joe Miller had murdered a child. She was desperate to be touched by someone she knew was good. To be reminded that there was someone that she loved that was a good man, who was disgusted by the injustices of the world, that had an unyielding moral compass, sometimes even to a fault.

“Take me to bed.”

They managed to be quiet, muffling moans and gasps into each other’s skin. He pulled her on top of him, making no attempts to fight her for dominance, and she suspected he hated the thought of being in control tonight.

She came first, shuddering, and he stilled beneath her, hands sliding along her legs, over her hips as she caught her breath. After a long moment, he cleared his throat. “El, Love, do you want…could you…?”

“‘Course,” she nodded, starting moving against him again. Alec raised his arms, elbows resting on the bed, and Ellie entwined their fingers, pressing their palms together, using him as leverage.

It’s not long until he was tensing, a moan vibrating through his whole body. He threw his head back against the pillows, squeezing her hands tightly. “Fuck, Ellie. Ah! Fuck…”

She stayed with him a moment, rocking, before collapsing beside him, letting him pull her into his chest, pressing a messy kiss to her temple.

“You okay? Feel okay?”

She nodded to both, turning her head to press a kiss against his chest. “I love you. So much.”

“Mm. Never goin’ to get old, hearin’ that from you.”

“I’ll take that as a challenge. Say it so often you’ll never want to hear it again.”

“Love to hear you try.” He kissed her temple again. “You really okay? Not talkin’ about the sex, I mean, jus’…in general. After what went on.”

“I’ll…get there. But…thank you. For understanding.”

“The least I could do,” he said quietly, the feeling of his fingers trailing up and down her bare spine making her shiver. “You’ve been so good to me, El. So bloody good to me.”

“You’ve been good to me, too.” She kissed the crease of his neck and shoulder. “I’m so fucking lucky to have you. No, don’t do that,” she chastised when he snorted, tried to brush her off. “I mean it. I’m so glad you’re here.

They were silent for a long moment, Alec running his fingers up and down the length of her spine, letting out soft sighs as she pressed her lips lazily against his neck, chest. The weather had worsened, the cold wind turning into outright rain, and it battered against the sides of the little house. Any time it rained like this, she hated to be away from him, worried that the water would trigger a nightmare about Pippa Gillespie.

“I wish you’d have been there. Danny Latimer’s case, Joe’s trial. I wish you’d have been there with me to hold my hand through it. Looking back on it now…well, I don’t even want to look back on it, now.”

He turned his head to kiss her temple, arms sliding from her back to her waist, pulling her firmly against him. “Wish I could’ve been, too. Probably would’ve bollocksed it up, though,” he murmured. “Was a mess, back then. More of a mess than now, I mean.”

Ellie nuzzled her nose under his jaw. “Don’t care. You’re my mess.” His heart beat faster against her fingertips then, she could feel it race, and she bit back a smile.

“Don’ know what I did to deserve you, Ellie.”

“Is that a ‘you’re wonderful and don’t know what I did to deserve someone so wonderful’ or is it a ‘don’t know what I did wrong to end up with such a soppy, emotional girlfriend?’”

“Depends on the day,” he replied with a smirk, looking grateful for the excuse to ease back into familiar, less emotional territory.

She was glad, in so many ways, that she had seen him at his worst before they’d started working together and he’d seen her at hers. In the first year of their relationship, he’d dealt with so much. She had seen him in pain, had helped him wash and dress after his heart surgery, had soldiered on beside him as he obsessively ran himself ragged reopening the Sandbrook case. She’d seen him rant and rail and shout, fall apart completely, snap at her for coddling him post-surgery and then have to swallow his pride and ask her if she could help him with his medication when the pain was getting too bad to ignore.

He’d needed to know that she could see him at his worst and not be sent running. That he could trust her to take care of him when things got hard. She just hadn't expected him to take such good care of her, in return.

“Well, even if we didn’t know one another back then, I’d hate to think what the last couple of years would have been like without you.”

He wrapped his arms around her tightly. “Don’ even want to think about it. Christ, can’t bear the thought.”

She grinned, gently pinching the flesh of his abdomen, little as there was, making him grunt. “Good. Don’t want you getting any ideas. You’re stuck with me, now.”

To her surprise, he withheld a snarky comment, kissing her temple again. “Don’ ever leave me, El.”

“Oh, Love.” She pushed herself up to kiss him properly, his cheek, down the length of his neck. “Not going anywhere. Like I said, you’re stuck with me.”

“You’ve no idea how much I want that to be true.”

“You’re going to feel very, very stupid thirty years from now when we’re still together and you’ve spent all this time moping.”

“Christ, I hope so. Only time I won’t be annoyed by you bein’ right.”

“I’m always right.”

He smiled, stroking his hands up and down her arms. “C’mon. Sun’ll be up soon, we gotta sleep sometime.”

She snorted. “You’re telling me to sleep? Hypocrite.” Nevertheless, she pressed a few sloppy kisses to his chest and then rolled, letting him press himself against her back, arms sliding around her middle.

* * *

When Daisy trudged out of bed the next morning, the house is eerily quiet, especially given the late hour. She had a moment of panic, just a moment, the one she always did worrying that her cop parents haven’t returned home, that she might at any moment get a phone call that there’s been some horrible accident.

But her dad’s shoes were at the door, and, surprisingly, so were Ellie’s.

She found them curled up in one of the porch chairs, cuddled together, her dad’s arm around Ellie’s shoulder, a mug of tea in each of their hands.

“Hi,” she greeted, suddenly self-conscious about the pyjamas she was wearing.

Her dad and Ellie only gave her tired smiles.

“Didn’t realize you were here, Ellie.”

“Sorry, Love. Didn’t mean to show up unannounced. Just…been a rough week, came to talk to your dad last night.”

“It’s fine,” Daisy reassured, settling down onto the wooden chair across from them. It really was. This was the first time ever Ellie had shown up unexpectedly for the night, they were good about not springing things on their kids. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, it’s okay,” Ellie replied, though when she blinked, it took some time to open her eyes again. They both look knackered, though surprisingly peaceful. She tilted her head to rest against Alec’s cheek. “I s’pose I should get going. I texted Tom, but neither one of them will be up for another hour, at least.”

Her dad ran his fingers through her tangled hair. “You want anythin’ before you go? Breakfast? Shower?”

“Nah. Unless you think I need a shower.”

“Yer words, not mine,” he teased.

Daisy smiled shyly at the both of them. “You know, if you moved in together, you wouldn’t have to go back and forth all the time.”

Ellie raised a brow, and Alec groaned. “Dais, not this again.”

“What’s all this, then?”

He sighed. “Nothin’.”

“You guys have been dating for a while, I just wondered when you’d move in together,” Daisy supplied.

“You jus’ hate this house,” Alec accused, and Daisy grinned. “That it? Ellie’s got a nicer house?”

“What, nicer than this shithole? _No_ …”

“Oi! Language,” Alec scolded, though he was smirking.

“‘Shit’ isn’t swearing, Dad!”

“Yes, it is!”

“It’s not!”

They both turned to her, and she snorted. “Don’t look at me, I’m not getting in the middle.” Ellie smacked his knee. “Besides, back to the point, we haven’t been together all that long, have we? Only…what?”

“Two years,” Alec supplied. And then, surprised, “two years as of last month.”

“Oh shit,” Ellie blurted, turning to face him. “Is it?”

He nodded. “July. I wasn’ even thinkin’ of the date.”

Daisy snorted. “You missed your own two-year anniversary? Seems like something you both would do.”

"Can’t believe we missed it,” Ellie said, shaking her head. “Too bloody caught up in this case.”

“Is it hard to believe?” Daisy asked, bringing her knees up to her chest and smiling softly at them. “That it’s been two years?”

Alec shot her a knowing look, the fond but irritated one she got when she looked at them like they were a _cute old couple._

“I dunno. Haven’t really thought about it,” Ellie confessed, tilting her head up to look at Alec. “Feels like a lifetime to you, hasn’t it? Putting up with me all this time?”

“Bloody misery, you are,” Alec agreed, using the arm around her shoulders to pull her in and kiss her temple.

Daisy grinned. “Some people get married after two years, you know.”

“Yeah? Some people send their daughters off to boarding school,” he shot back.

Ellie nudged him in the ribs, shaking her head fondly at their bickering.

“When did you know? Like, really know, about each other?” Daisy asked with a smile, pleased at how riled up and stroppy her dad looked at the interrogation.

Ellie grinned at her, the way she always does when they participate in something that makes her dad grumpy. “He painted his bedroom,” she replied with a shrug. “On one of the first few times I stayed the night at his old place, I asked him how he could possibly get out of bed every morning with the walls that dark a colour, it was like sleeping in a cave. I came over a week later and he’d painted. Sounds silly, but my ex-husband…we tore the wallpaper out of our bedroom one summer, and he still hadn’t painted it a year and a half later. Took your dad two days after the woman he’d been seeing a few weeks made a single off-handed comment. That’s when I knew.”

“That I was a push-over?”

“That you would make an _effort_. That you were in it for the long run.”

It was the first time Daisy had ever heard Ellie say anything about her ex-husband. Eager to bring the subject back to lighter territory, Daisy turned to Alec. “What about you, Dad?”

“Yeah, Alec, when did you first know I was the one?” Ellie asked teasingly, wriggling in her chair.

He grunted, but surprisingly began to speak after only a few moments of awkward shifting. “Sandbrook case. I’d asked for yer help on somethin’,and it was gettin’ hard, and gettin’ into the details was awful, and I…told you to run. Go home, don’ let me suck you into it, that the case had ruined so many people, damaged so many lives, couldn’ bear it if I ruined you, too. An’ you jus’ looked at me, an’ shrugged, and said ‘Nah. I’m gonna solve it.’Jus’ like that.”

Ellie stuck out her bottom lip, and tilted her head up again to look at him. “Was that really it? That’s when you knew?”

Slowly, the corner of his mouth twitched open into a sly, mischievous smile.

“You bloody liar! I don’t believe you! And after I said something nice!” Ellie cried, smacking his arm and lurching out of the chair. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and checked it. “I’m going to have that shower after all, I think. Watch my phone, in case Tom rings.” Ellie leaned down and smacked a loud kiss against his cheek. “Cheeky bastard,” she said, dropping the phone into his lap. It’s such an unthinking gesture of trust, handing him her unlocked phone, free for him to scroll through it if he wanted, check her messages, ensure that she wasn’t pulling anything like his wife before her. That he didn’t even glance at it, just set it aside on the arm of his chair in case in rang, uninterested in testing that loyalty, made Daisy’s heart warm.

Still muttering, Ellie pressed her lips to the top of Daisy’s head as she passed by and disappeared inside.

Alec smirked, watching her duck inside the little house, before turning back to face the sea, a content expression settling over him.

“Was that really not it? The moment you knew?” Daisy asked after a moment.

He leaned back against the chair, lifting the mug to his lips. “Nah,” he said, propping his feet up against the sea wall. “‘Course not. Knew the first night we met.”

They feel into a comfortable silence for a long moment, the rising sun finally giving some warmth to the cold breeze off of the water. 

“Everyone at school’s talking about that case. About how you solved it,” she offered at last. “Proud of you, Dad.”

“Mm,” he acknowledged, always uncomfortable with any sort of praise.

“I mean it,” she said more firmly. They had always been a quiet family, keeping to themselves and never saying much, but the Millers were always quick and easy with compliments and praise, and it was a quality Daisy greatly admired, one she was trying to take on. Her dad especially had gotten so beaten down over the years, had felt like such a failure as a parent, she wanted to put in an effort to appreciate him. “I’m really proud of you, Dad. So, so proud.”

He turned to her, then, a surprised look on his face. Daisy rose from her own chair and moved to sit beside him, leaning her head on his shoulder. After a moment of shock passed, he wrapped an arm around her, holding her tightly. If he ever tried to hold her like this in public, she’d shove him right off. But she supposed this was the benefit of living with him, their meetings no longer confined to only restaurants and cafés.

“I’m glad we came here,” she said, staring out into the sea. “To Broadchurch. Everything’s gotten better since we moved.”

He turned his head to the side to press a kiss against the top of her head. “Yer mum does miss you, you know.”

“You don’t have to defend her from anything, Dad. It’s not a slight against her. We’re allowed to be happy without her.”

“Glad yer happy, Darlin’. S’all I ever wanted.”

Daisy smiled, blinking back tears. “I’m glad you are, too. And that you’ve _let_ yourself be happy.”

Alec smiled. “When did you get old enough to start givin’ me life advice?”

“When I got smarter than you. Couple of years ago, at least.”

He scoffed at that, but was smiling. “‘Smart-arse, more like. Ellie’s been a bad influence on you.”

Daisy beamed. “Please. It’s genetic and you know it.”


End file.
